Busy busy busy

We're all so busy ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I think I fight being busy. I avoid commitments so I don't overload my schedule (or myself). I have learned lessons on boundaries and that is one of my personal boundaries I am pretty aware of. I'm not saying I'm always right to shy away from commitments, but I am glad that I no longer jam pack my life with so many activities that I am never home or forget what's really important. it's easy to lose sight of important things that are right in your face when you're always looking towards what's next on the to-do list. More of us should include quiet or down time on our to-do list. I know I do.

What the funk?

I've been in such a funk lately. I feel like I'm pms-ing but it's weeks too early. Just feeling low but with emotional volatility....kinda like a bipolar person I guess. (No, I don't think I'm bipolar.) Anyways, just all this has me clinging to God and the Word because I would be a terrible mother and wife without that support.

Doing lots of reflecting tonight and here is a rant that went on in my head as I ate my midnight snack...


So many people want advice from someone who has "been there" or is in the same situation they are in. Maybe it's a good idea to hear from people who were able to make choices to avoid your situation. Hmmm, maybe! Just because I'm not in your current situation doesn't mean that I didn't walk that line or even make most of the same choices. If 3 people step on the same crack, and 2 of them trip but only one of them doesn't trip, wouldn't you wanna get advice from the one who didn't trip rather than the one who tripped just like you? Not that people in your same situation can't offer valuable encouragement and personal experience - they can - but you can't live as if you're the only ones who understand. It's such as excuse to be angry or isolate yourself.

Says I.

BGC9 ep 1 & 2

Why the heck do those girls say Christina is fake? Cuz she didn't come in the house swinging? I'd be like her, I'm nice up front but once you hit that switch it is definitely on. That's not fake, that's being a level person until the right time. She's from Jersey City; how could you think she didn't have some hood in her?

I can't stand Julie or Char Jr (whatever...Obama chic). Char Jr fake inside and out then Julie just complains - she's that chic that talks and talks.

Blondie is koo and Falen is super funny. Falen is in the wrong crew though but I guess you gotta pick a side.

Rima...why you there when you got a son?? That would break my heart to leave my son for 3 months. How can you be dancing on bars with your booty out and fighting so much when you got that boy looking up to you? I dunno girl. No shame if you leave early for him.

Erika: love her so far. She fuels the fires but she does keep it real - and I'd believe she could take anyone in the house haha!


I wonder who will end up in Mexican jail? Lol 😜

Uneventful Independence Day

Hubby works so no celebrations for us. I don't really care to do much unless we went to hang with friends; large crowds of people i don't know is not fun to me. Call me grumpy/party-pooper/square but I don't like car or foot traffic (like being bumped into or fighting to get a place to sit). *shudder*

I took Kole out for a rare evening outing to catch some of the Ala moana show from Waikiki beach. After trying to keep him busy and out of the street for 40-minutes, the show started. The Sheraton blocks most of it but we could see the big bursts. Unfortunately Kole was not entertained. He kept shaking his head "no" and pointing in the opposite direction of the fireworks. Haha! I was like OK I guess we won't be staying. I wasn't bummed to leave cuz I only came for him to see. It was kinda late to be out anyway.

This is a lame post for a fairly lame day. Woke up sicker today than yesterday, and still dragged my butt to the grocery store. I think I'll be feeling better by tomorrow, just in time for a date with my man.

I planned a date for us since it's been so long (again). And I'm very proud of myself for doing so because it's the last thing I felt like doing BUT now I'm excited and in the spirit just in time for our anniversary coming up too. Been praying for a change of heart and God works quickly when we open up to let Him.

Weaning

Well Kole is down to nursing only about 4 times per day now. It's a good thing cuz he seems to accept when I offer food rather than "mum-mums." i definitely don't offer anymore unless it's all we have while we're out. Today he didn't nurse from about 9am until 10pm. Luckily my body has adjusted to less feedings so I'm just going with the flow.

A part of me really didn't wanna quit breastfeeding. It's such a special time with him. Then another part of me is ready, I guess...kinda. I want him to be getting the most/best calories that he can and if that's not from me, then I am happy to feed him something else. I've rarely felt burdened by breastfeeding on demand. It's been a great thing for us and I hope I'm this successful with future children.

It's weaning for both of us; a new chapter in our relationship as he transitions to more of a separate person from Mama. Only the first of many things I'll have to let go of in his life as he grows up. *sigh*

The Boy Walks

It's official, the boy walks. He's been playing with the idea for at least a month now but as of the last couple days he is really walking around. He wants to wear his shoes/slippers, and he will walk alone to explore but often prefers to hold a hand and show us the way. I'm loving it (even though I know chasing him down is not far away).

Precious moment of the day (maybe the whole month): As we were walking through the mall today, one hand in daddy's hand and the other in mine, Kole stops and lets go. He needed to dance! He got a lil jiggy, then grabbed our hands again, an we continued on our way. &hearts LOVE

I'm ready for bed (full day recap)

Today was long. Kole woke up early cuz he went to bed super early the night before. Then we had to all get going early to pick up our Nanang. It's been a while since we had her here and she is leaving next week for a month. We stopped by Safeway and AT&T then headed home to make sure Kole got his nap. He eventually napped and Nanang joined him after a we all ate. I was excited to catch a nap for myself when I all of a sudden realized it was just about 2:30 - the time when we were supposed to be at the doctor for a 15-month well visit. Aaah! Called and got it bumped to 2:45 but had to wake the baby and run out the door still.

He was not happy. And then he was real mad at me and the car seat. And he was beyond pissed when he had to lie down to be examined. Then he screamed nonstop when he was getting his 3 booster shots. I nursed him for comfort and a quick meal since he hadn't eaten since we interrupted his nap. Finally, to top it all off, he needed a blood draw. Not one arm, but both arms were punctured since he was slightly dehydrated and they couldn't get a vein, at which time he proceeded to puke on both the lab ladies, daddy, the chair, the floor, and himself. My poor baby bear. We were all emotionally exhausted after that one.

Of course, he also fights me and the car seat on our short trip home. This was to be the last driving with him for the day. We did walk to the beach though, which always cheers him up. He had lots of fun with his new sand toys and even met a lil friend. The baby and his mom didn't speak English but I guess that's the beauty of watching babies interact; they don't speak much of any language but they communicate plenty.

We stopped at a farmer's market on the way home from the beach, then J brought Nanang home. I nursed a fussy Kole and he soon after fell asleep in my arms. Thought it would be a quick one so I held him rather than put him down.....an hour and a half later I set him down. He didn't even wake up when I started chopping and cooking in the kitchen.

Basically he woke up for a little bit and we tried to feed him and failed then we put him to bed - twice (he woke up after 5 minutes the first time).

Watched some classy reality tv and ate some awesome arrozcaldo (with calamansi from Nanang) and mango for dessert. Yup, I'm so ready for bed.