Lately I've felt a weight hanging on my shoulders, spiritually. It happens when I feel far from God. Especially when I know what I need or need to do, but it's not happening. I need to be pursuing God, but I need my hubby to pursue God as well - that way we're moving in the same direction.
I could tell my hubby was not actively moving towards God but I didn't know what was up until we had a good talk yesterday. It's always a process to pick his brain but it feels good once we communicate those unspoken things that have been floating like dust around our noses.
So why do I need to bug him just cuz I'm in a spiritual funk? As a Christian, I believe that when I married my husband, we became one; no longer separate people but inextricably intertwined. This is a blessing and a curse, of course, because while we can ride on each other's wings in joy, we also can feel the pull when one is dragging through a valley.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
More than a K
He says I'm selfish, and that may be true. But how many of our decisions and desires for our children are indeed selfish?
Here's the deal...
Our son's name is Kole Kahelemeakua. It took a lot of arguing and discussion to arrive at this name. Kole (Cole) is the only name I liked that my husband liked too. More details about that later. His middle name was decided by my husband. It means "one who walks with God." I like the meaning for sure, but I wanted his middle name to be Koamalu, which means "peaceful courage." he didn't like the meaning or the sound of "mal" since in Spanish mal means bad. Sort of understandable to me, but I only gave in on the condition that I get to spell his first name with a K instead of C.
The K is the only thing I got to fully choose for my son: the boy I dreamt of having for years and years. I had wanted this boy for so long and he would be coming out with nothing in his name to represent his mama but this K. (We didn't even put my maiden name in his name, as is a Filipino tradition.)
A simple reason I don't want to change it, and partly why I thought of it in the first place, is I don't want him to have an ordinary name. 99% of Coles are spelled with a C. My boy is not average, neither will his name be.
And in that same way, I want him to know who he is and be confident in it. Here in Hawai'i, the word "okole" means butt (pronounced oh-ko-leh). He says he'll literally be the butt of every joke. But is it really that drastic? Kids get teased for one thing or another through their childhood. It sucks, but I see it as a part of growing up. You may suffer at the time but the goal is that you would come out of it stronger, and their silly comments would roll of your shoulders. I don't want him to suffer - of course not! But I don't want to start him off on this foot that gives in to pressures from others. They tease, so I change myself?.....Heck no! You make em recognize you are who you are, NOT who they say you are. That is an important life skill that I pray my son learns early.
A final reason I dot think we need to change the spelling of his name is that he supposedly was to be attending school on the mainland. I thought this was established but as usual my hubby has probably extended plans to stay here in Hawai'i. He says "who knows" but I thought we already did. Who knows...I guess we'll see about that (a whole 'nother can o' worms).
Here's the deal...
Our son's name is Kole Kahelemeakua. It took a lot of arguing and discussion to arrive at this name. Kole (Cole) is the only name I liked that my husband liked too. More details about that later. His middle name was decided by my husband. It means "one who walks with God." I like the meaning for sure, but I wanted his middle name to be Koamalu, which means "peaceful courage." he didn't like the meaning or the sound of "mal" since in Spanish mal means bad. Sort of understandable to me, but I only gave in on the condition that I get to spell his first name with a K instead of C.
The K is the only thing I got to fully choose for my son: the boy I dreamt of having for years and years. I had wanted this boy for so long and he would be coming out with nothing in his name to represent his mama but this K. (We didn't even put my maiden name in his name, as is a Filipino tradition.)
A simple reason I don't want to change it, and partly why I thought of it in the first place, is I don't want him to have an ordinary name. 99% of Coles are spelled with a C. My boy is not average, neither will his name be.
And in that same way, I want him to know who he is and be confident in it. Here in Hawai'i, the word "okole" means butt (pronounced oh-ko-leh). He says he'll literally be the butt of every joke. But is it really that drastic? Kids get teased for one thing or another through their childhood. It sucks, but I see it as a part of growing up. You may suffer at the time but the goal is that you would come out of it stronger, and their silly comments would roll of your shoulders. I don't want him to suffer - of course not! But I don't want to start him off on this foot that gives in to pressures from others. They tease, so I change myself?.....Heck no! You make em recognize you are who you are, NOT who they say you are. That is an important life skill that I pray my son learns early.
A final reason I dot think we need to change the spelling of his name is that he supposedly was to be attending school on the mainland. I thought this was established but as usual my hubby has probably extended plans to stay here in Hawai'i. He says "who knows" but I thought we already did. Who knows...I guess we'll see about that (a whole 'nother can o' worms).
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