New realization and prayer

I don't like challenges. Real ones. Not the kind you know you can overcome; those are fine. I mean the ones that bring doubt and change and mess up my plans.

I consider myself flexible, but where is my heart? I consider myself resourceful, but can I remain joyful?

I want to be better at greeting  a challenge. I want to welcome it and walk towards it with confidence in myself that I can do it. That my first thought would be that God's plan is unfolding and my plan has always been blessedly obsolete at best.

If I grow in Faith, I will grow in flexibility. If I grow in Hope, I will grow in happiness. If I grow in Spirit, I will grow in strength.

Please pray for me.

Thanks! :)

*Jan 17, 2015 UPDATE*

I know someone is praying for me because I'm doing better. My mind goes back to this post, this prayer, and I have more peace and a little more patience. Continuing to move forward I hope! God is challenging me and showin me how much he believes I can handle.

*Aug 12, 2015 UPDATE*

I forgot about this post. I can honestly say I'm not as afraid of obstacles nowadays. I'm not a model of peace or faith but I can be hit with a problem or challenge and be ready to pray and make a decision. I think haha. Definitely less fear and less doubting myself in this area of life.

Less than 4-months left

I sit and meditate more and more on how my life and our lives (mine and my husband's together) will change so drastically. The biggest part of me is excited and maybe even feels ready, but there are still those parts of me that are anxious and even sad to let go of the life we have now.

I love being able to spend as much time with J as I can. I know that time will be decreasing and will be different. What I'm confident in is that we are both committed to each other and our relationship; we're aware that it's going to be a struggle for quality time at times but our marriage is important enough to put that extra effort in.

I've known for a long time now that I want to be a mama. I actually have a good amount of confidence in my ability to be one (and the encouragement from my friends and family helps that feeling too). The parts I struggle with are teenage years and just that normal parent worry of "I want the best for my child"..."Will they make the right choices"..."How do I protect them without smothering them?"

Etc...etc...

I'm already a "mom" I guess. As soon as I wanted to become pregnant I had to change how I do things, how I think about things, what I plan my life around. I care for my coming child by what I eat, drink, and do or don't do; it's all about him. That's the difference for women though; we're mom's from conception. Guys get a little more adjustment period but I think it hits them even harder than us in some ways. Being motherly is more natural for women than for men most of the time. We get a head start being mama while the baby is still inside; he is daddy in an instant on the day the baby comes out.

From either side, it's big. I'm just so thankful I can share it all with the love of my life. ♥