>>Strong heartbeat

Our appointment last Friday went awesome (once we got into the room...long story short, my doctor's staff is...blah). J had worked the night before but he woke up once the ultrasound started. The doctor turned the monitor around and showed us our baby's heartbeat - "strong" as she described it. Too early to hear via ultrasound, but we could see that heart pumping away. I was overwhelmed and so excited! There is life in me and it's growing! Praise Jesus!

So many fears were released the night before during my prayer time and then when I saw that little heart beating on the screen I was changed. The signs of life and the shape of the little person changed me. The best is that I feel more confident, especially since I am only 2 weeks away from the second trimester. I know anything can happen during a pregnancy but I'm believing for January 2011 that I'll be holding my baby.

I called all my siblings that afternoon. Talked with most of them by the end of the night and it felt great to finally share the news with them. I love them and miss them all so much and wish I could be around them to share this time in my life. They're all aunties and uncles many times over but this is the first from me. :)

So how am I feeling at 10 weeks? Still tender and growing in the "chest" area. Ketchup is my only weird heightened flavor I like. But it is strange that vegetables do not appeal to me, while beef does a little more than usual (I guess I need protein). I am still more sluggish often, and feel best when I get a lot of sleep, but in the last week have been hit with some insomnia symptoms. That sucks, especially when I have to work the next morning. I am not showing, but I'm often bloated enough that it could look that way, Lol. Feeling a little self-conscious about my changing body at times, but embracing it knowing that it means I'm gonna be a mama. I still get nausea but still haven't actually blown - thank goodness. If I don't let my stomach get real empty, I can avoid the intense nausea. And yes, I'm moody and emotional. I can't watch Oprah without losing track of how many times I tear up or cry haha!

>>*Time flies, cont'd

A big reason why time is crawling for me right now is my pregnancy. I am anticipating these next 5-weeks or so til I can tell everyone because I've passed that dreaded window. I'm trying not to be scared or too fixated on it but I am definitely feeling realistic about the fact that there's no guarantee I'll carry this baby to full term. We are trying to take

one

step

at

a

time.

We are praying that way too; praying for a fetus, since technically right now, it's an embryo. May seem strange, but it's how I'm coping, and how my honey is keeping me grounded. He's the best.

I've had one more day where I didn't feel so well, which was because I didn't sleep much the night before my doctor's visit on Thursday. They "confirmed" my pregnancy by doing the same pee test I did at home...um, ok. I was kind of expecting a blood test or something, and maybe for my doctor to be there (she wasn't, they didn't tell me until after I had peed in the cup......"oh, did you have questions?" WTH). I did have questions for my doctor, but went blank trying to contain my frustration when they told me like I should know she's not there on Thursdays. Of course I have questions, I'm pregnant! For the first time!

Anyways, I have told those I'm closest to and those that are in our lives most: sister-friends, parents, youth group leaders, most coworkers, and his sister knows. I am waiting to tell my siblings for another week or two, and he's doing the same with his two best friends. It's funny the difference between guys and girls. I would've preferred to not tell parents yet, because his parents are going to tell the whole family and I had to ask my parents to not do so (we're not as close) but I have a way to go before I'm in the safer zone. I will just dread recontacting to inform them if I do have a miscarriage.

It's gonna be a crawl for now; I'll be 7-weeks on Sunday, with many more to go. :)

A prayer request for my family

Since the day after I left for Hawai'i, and two days after my nieces funeral, my half sibling's mom has been in the hospital, unresponsive. Because of her status, they do not know exactly how she got that way. We know she has brain damage (frontal lobe) but we don't know how far she could ever come out of it or if she can even survive w/o a breathing tube. They're supposed to attempt to remove her breathing tube this Friday. A decision not lightly made.

 

*Please pray for my half sister's mom; for healing in God's will, that she hears when people pray over her, and that even if she can't talk her heart would be changed. And if she is to be fully healed, she'll be renewed in her mind to take better care of her health.

*Please pray for my bro & sis; The last month has been nothing but trials. Their relationship with their mom has been rough in the past, but that never makes these times any easier. Please pray that they would find peace and encouragement in this time. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am very troubled to be so far from home when all this is going on, just knowing how hard this is for my family. I love them and I have no words right now, which is easier to accept when you can just hug someone. Anyways, thank you for your powerful prayers.

Love,

Olive