Still pregnant! And it's ok

Well we made it to full term, thank goodness. And it's 2011! Now I've been obsessing over final preparations, as well as every little thing I feel in my body (wondering if labor is starting, lol). Last night I realized that I need to refocus. I need to realize that it will happen when it's going to happen and just cuz I had a "feeling" he was gonna come early doesn't mean it's true. I mean even if he comes in 2 weeks that's still days before my due date and would be called "early." Anyways, I want to refocus on my husband and our time together while we still have it uninterrupted. I love my quality time with him and I will definitely miss what we have. That doesn't overshadow my excitement of growing our family and being a mommy, but it's all just a part of my full bag of emotions I feel these days.

I wanted my first post of the year to be a letter to my baby boy, but I've put it off too long and needed to update. I'm doing well, just trying to stay busy and somewhat active. We went to the zoo today and I got the longest walk in a long time. I've been walking at least every other day but not for miles - I'm too lazy for that, haha. Tried to swim occasionally but it's been colder here (i.e. in the low-70's to mid-60's). Had slowed my weight gain unintentionally but I seem to have caught right up. Still my doc wants me to go in for an ultrasound to make sure he's growing at a healthy rate still. That appointment is tomorrow (well, today, at 10am).

Not much is new, just growing a bit still and getting more aches and stronger Braxton Hicks contractions. Looks like we'll be having a baby shower gathering this coming Saturday. That should be fun, and even better if we can get all the people we know to be there. We don't need anything right now but I'll be thankful for a few more gift cards for later and just to celebrate our baby on the way with our Hawai'i ohana.

What a week

Time has flown since I shared the details of my horrible morning last Tuesday. And Tuesday morning wasn't the end...

I started having abdominal pain in the afternoon that I tried to wait out and let it pass, but it just wouldn't. It hurt to move and I was even tender to the touch sometimes. It was kinda scary after a couple hours so I called my doctor. I was advised to drink lots of water and rest; if the pain doesn't stop in 30-minutes, go to Kapiolani L&D (which is where premies need to be delivered). I ended up going to Kapiolani via the emergency department. Luckily my hubby was off work so he was able to drive me and help keep me calm. Of course my mind was racing, but he reminded me to not assume the worst.

By the time I actually got to see a nurse, my pain had gone down a lot. Long story short, we were there for about 3-hours. I was put on monitoring, gave a urine sample, got an ultrasound, and a couple cervix checks. They calmly told me I was having contractions - since they were calm I assumed I should be too, but it was weird to hear. Since the contractions didn't seem to be changing my cervix, they sent me home with an antibiotic prescription to clear up anything that could be causing complications. I can't remember the last time I took an antibiotic, but I didn't hesitate when it comes to making sure I'm doing everything I can and am supposed to do to benefit the baby.

One thing that made the visit positive was that we got to see him on the ultrasound. Turns out he's already head down. When I thought he was kicking my hip bone, he is actually punching it, while my ribs are getting the actual kicks. Fun to know (still not so fun to feel sometimes, lol). The doc actually did two ultrasounds - the first was to gather info on him, the second was to demonstrate to a new doc how to identify measuring points on a fetus. She said he has great markers (or something like that). Our baby has already been a model example!

Okay, this is turning out longer than I planned, but there's more...

I had to see my doc within a few days to follow-up on all this, rather than waiting for my appointment I had scheduled for the next week. I was glad to see her but it really turns out that I may just be what she called, "a cramper." That's not to say I shouldn't continue to take it easy, but it's good to know what I'm prone to and how to possibly manage it. So it'll be a couple about 2 more months of lots of rest and LOTS of water. Been drinking at least 2-liters a day now. She gave me another prescription for emergency use if I start having regular contractions in an hour in the next few weeks. Another one of those things that I'm glad I have it but the fact that I might need it is kinda scary. Praying that bottle never gets opened!

And finally - on a much lighter note - I awoke from a nap this afternoon with a wet spot on the right side of my tank top. Huh??? Lol. Actually my hubby noticed it first and we realized it was leakage. My tank was dark so I don't know what color it was. I washed it as soon as I realized the spot wasn't going away after a couple hours, but there's still a slight mark right on the boob. Good thing I usually wear it under something. Now I'm paranoid about my shirts and bras. I have some disposable pads but I don't wanna use them up before the baby comes. I'm gonna go get some washable ones which I think are best used for smaller leaks anyways.

To sum it all up...Being pregnant is a trip.

Let's catch up a little

Honestly, I've been lazy to blog. Fatigue has returned in the last couple weeks (thank you, third trimester). Before that my husband was sick one week, I got sick the next week, then we had our first disturbing visit to our doctor where we were told my cervix was slightly dilated. This visit happened in the same week the world lost Andy Irons, and I learned my bestie would be leaving the island and my husband would be working Christmas. The good news is I went back a week later for a check-up with my doc and there was little to no progression, which means I have escaped being sentenced to bed rest at this point. We did cut my working down to one day a week, maybe occasionally two, but only opening shifts (shortest) and should be sitting/resting during my shift as much as possible. What a relief and answered prayer that our baby boy isn't trying to come out this early.

What's new? I bought my first maternity jeans that I LOVE and a belly band to hopefully combat back pain and even front pains. I'm experiencing a lot of round ligament pain as I (we) grow; I feel it most when I'm more active. I am learning to take it easier but it really is hard sometimes. I may be lazy at times but I am also a brat and I want to do things when I want to do them. But more and more I learn that my body is not my own for now. Every day is an adjustment not just to how and when I do things, but to my wardrobe as well. I got a new swimsuit that covers what it should and a sarong that covers more when I'm walking down the street. I'm loving the umbrella my honey got me for lounging on the beach while he surfs. Makes me sad that I can't go out with him, but at least I can watch and dream of when I'll get back out there.

We started a class at Queen's for the next 6-weeks, called Expectant Parent Class. Already got us registered and they gave us a tour of the entire maternity floor. It made me so excited to be there and see where the event will happen. That excitement may be contributing my trouble sleeping lately, but at least it's a happy feeling more than worry. The next classes will be about breastfeeding, labor process, postpartum, etc. Luckily, hubby will be there for all of them too so we can learn together. :) He's the best.

Goal: Learn to ask hubby for help more often so I don't feel overwhelmed.

Praise: I will have my boo on Christmas! He still works Christmas Eve but at least I get one of those nights with him. Thank you Jesus!

Pic: Me, today (29-weeks)

Crazy body

I'm 23-weeks along now and growing! I have grown very noticeably especially in the last month. Very exciting and very uncomfortable. This post is just to share (and document) my current symptoms and just stuff about being pregnant...

*Linea negra: the darkening of the skin in a line straight down from belly button.

*Sensitive skin: I've gotten pink (almost burned) from being out in the sun in the last week, with sunscreen! Very rare for me.

*Pimples: more frequent on my face but not too bad, but my chest almost always has a couple :(

*Back pain: hard to manage but I'm doing stretches and learning to bend/lie down/move more properly.

*Energy/Emotions: this last week has been kinda low on both...feeling sad for what seems to be no reason sometimes

*Food cravings: I've really been wanting dairy products a lot. I bumped up my calcium regime to see if that makes a difference but nothing so far. (I should be taking that supplement anyway I'm sure.)

*Bellybutton: has become more shallow and is darker skin inside. I had to change out my stainless steel ring for my old gold one since the other apparently was a little infected.

*Breasts: bigger, and darker pigment

*Hips: a little wider (can't wear most old pants or shorts)

*Feet: I'm still debating whether they've actually grown yet or not. Some shoes feel that way.

*Hair/nails: hair seems normal, currently letting it grow out...nails have been really nice

*Brain: huh?

*Bladder: he's definitely sitting on it

*Baby kicks: He's so active and it only is slightly a nuisance when I'm trying to sleep and he's doing gymnastics, lol. J can only feel it occasionally at this point.

Don't have: sensitivity to smell, edema, nausea, blotchy skin...

Doing well, overall. Putting together a scrapbook for our lil boy to distract me when time passes slow and channel my excitement.

:)

Blurrrrrrr

Our trip to Seattle was such a b l u r. I am amazed at how fast 10-days can go by. All the family is feeling it - a sort of sadness like it all ended too soon. A lot happened except for just being together. If only we could get together again sooner than later, but life is too demanding I guess.

I'm kind of back into the swing of things here in the islands. I have barely unpacked and haven't done any laundry, but like I said, life is swinging already. Both of us have been back to work and running errands and trying to spend our own quality time. I need that for sure.

As for Baby, he is growing. I feel it inside and out. I'm showing more consistently (not just after I eat), and I gained 5-pounds in Seattle which actually catches me up to be more of the weight I should be at by now. On Sunday I'll be 20-weeks a.k.a. 5-MONTHS pregnant! Time is flying, and it's sinking in how much our lives will be altered in just 4 short months. Whoa. I'm so thankful for all the love and support we're receiving from family and friends. Not only are we excited for our baby boy, but so many around us are sharing that excitement too and it feels good.

...still waiting for that first kick...

Feelin' the heat

So it's summer, but I'm heated from the inside out right now. I have been easily cold for the last 5 years or so that I can remember - not sure why, kinda thought it was cuz not enough insulation (i.e. meat on my bones). But whatever the reason, it's been annoying, especially when I lived in Seattle and I had to wear 2 pairs of pants at all times or suffer the shivers. No joke. Now that I'm in the islands I definitely have held a steadier temperature. I didn't even own shorts when I moved here!

When you are pregnant you're body is working overtime, so you give off more heat. I'm noticing this as the weather stays hotter this summer. Even my husband feels my heat and it gets to be too much for him at times. It's weird cuz I've always been the cold one, lol. I still get cold of course, but I always put my hair up lately because it keeps the heat flowing off my neck rather than trapping it. Also, I hate how my hair looks right now, which I plan to fix in Seattle when we visit in a few weeks. *phew*

I'll call it, "Feeling pregnant"

So I'm about 14-weeks along now and just saw the doctor for our monthly check in last Friday. She didn't seem convinced that our due date should be changed so I've adjusted it in my mind a couple days, Lol. All I was happy to hear was the sound of our baby's heartbeat through the doppler. What an amazing sound. ♥

Heading into this second trimester I'm barely showing at all but I'm feeling more pregnant...I think. Not that I really know what that feels like since this is my first, but that's what I'm calling it. I am so tired and so hungry, and my back is hurting. The tired and hungry I get, but back pain already?! It's my lower back, mostly on the left lately. It will even shoot down my leg if I lean just right. Fun stuff. I used to think it would flare up from lying down too much, but recently it starts to hurt when I've been standing or walking a bit. I may need new slippers or orthotics for my work shoes. I may need to actually take a break at work. I may just need to wait until my body continuously adjusts to its changing self; that could take a while. I expected back pain when I have a cantaloupe in front of me, but not a lemon.

Still working my 3 shifts per week and exercising 2-3 times per week. I'd say I'm active enough, which I hope in time will curb my fatigue. I definitely miss surfing with my boo, and he misses it too. :( That was our quality time for almost a year. We're learning how to spend time in the ocean together other ways and even going for more walks. It doesn't replace surf time but I just love spending time with my love either way.

I can barely imagine being pregnant anywhere else. It's warm here, always, but not too hot if you're in the right spot. You can wear comfy dresses every day without freezing. The ocean is your playground and you won't ever be the only preggo in a swimsuit. It would be even harder to get me off my butt if it was cold outside haha. I'll have to experience that at some point but for now, I'm loving where I'm at for my first pregnancy.

Alooooooha!

Last week was awesome

I meant to post about my amazing week last week but it flew by and I still feel like life is flying by. Monday we had our 2nd ultrasound and were able to hear the heartbeat AND see our little bean jumping and dancing around. I gotta admit I'm not liking the 3D pics better at this point but that may be because the baby's back was turned by the time we were using that wand. Either way, it was an amazing experience and I'm so excited to know the baby is doing well and is lively already! Our next scheduled ultrasound is mid-August. Can't wait!

Although there is now a possible variance of a week in how far along I am, we felt it was an ok time to share the news win the world. We officially announced it via texts, emails, and of course Facebook/Twitter (we're a modern couple ya know). It felt great to share and get excited with everyone now. It was so hard to keep it in for over a month but it was worth the wait.

Then mine and my hubby's 3-year anniversary was on Wednesday last week. He ended up having to work but treated me to a shopping spree the day before at HIC and just made me feel so special. He's the best and I'm blessed beyond what I could've imagined for myself. He is truly my soulboo. I'm so thankful I only love, miss, adore him more and more as time goes on. God is so good.

That's the main highlights of the week. It felt like more events at the time but I must have just been on some natural high Lol.

So far this week has carried over the exhaustion I was feeling last week. I'm so tired again; I thought I was getting past that but I'm feeling it more than ever now. And more than that, I'm feeling HuNgRy!! Its out of control really. Sometimes hard to keep finding new things to eat - seriously! I don't seem to be gaining weight yet though but I'm sure it's on the way. I do hope so!

[pic: hungry monster...and yes, as a matter of fact i am hungry]

>>Strong heartbeat

Our appointment last Friday went awesome (once we got into the room...long story short, my doctor's staff is...blah). J had worked the night before but he woke up once the ultrasound started. The doctor turned the monitor around and showed us our baby's heartbeat - "strong" as she described it. Too early to hear via ultrasound, but we could see that heart pumping away. I was overwhelmed and so excited! There is life in me and it's growing! Praise Jesus!

So many fears were released the night before during my prayer time and then when I saw that little heart beating on the screen I was changed. The signs of life and the shape of the little person changed me. The best is that I feel more confident, especially since I am only 2 weeks away from the second trimester. I know anything can happen during a pregnancy but I'm believing for January 2011 that I'll be holding my baby.

I called all my siblings that afternoon. Talked with most of them by the end of the night and it felt great to finally share the news with them. I love them and miss them all so much and wish I could be around them to share this time in my life. They're all aunties and uncles many times over but this is the first from me. :)

So how am I feeling at 10 weeks? Still tender and growing in the "chest" area. Ketchup is my only weird heightened flavor I like. But it is strange that vegetables do not appeal to me, while beef does a little more than usual (I guess I need protein). I am still more sluggish often, and feel best when I get a lot of sleep, but in the last week have been hit with some insomnia symptoms. That sucks, especially when I have to work the next morning. I am not showing, but I'm often bloated enough that it could look that way, Lol. Feeling a little self-conscious about my changing body at times, but embracing it knowing that it means I'm gonna be a mama. I still get nausea but still haven't actually blown - thank goodness. If I don't let my stomach get real empty, I can avoid the intense nausea. And yes, I'm moody and emotional. I can't watch Oprah without losing track of how many times I tear up or cry haha!

>>2 Months

I am now 8-weeks 1-day along. My nausea has improved overall, but I've been feeling really tired lately but for some reason my naps suck. It feels like I'm not asleep but I'll be in bed for hours...weird, can't explain. I definitely need more consistent sleep. If I thought mornings were hard before, I can't express how hard it is to get out of bed nowadays. Went to work today and wanted to push myself to stay as long as possible; I did, but not without gagging after a rush we had. I felt bad for my coworker, but thankful that since there were so many people they didn't hear me behind the counter. Eek.

Lately I notice a correlation between my cramps and gas. This is kind of comforting since I know cramping can be a sign of bad things if more than growing pains in my uterus. No other "bad" signs so far (no spotting of any kind). Feeling pretty confident, but still keeping reality in check since I know I have another month to go until the second trimester.

The embryo is the size of a kidney bean but growing steadily. In my pregnancy journal there was a couple lines to write a message from you and your partner...

From me: keep growing :)

From daddy: hurry up and become a fetus! :D

>>My very first morning sickness...wow

Took my pregnancy test on Friday afternoon. Woke up Saturday feeling like I may have eaten something wrong and headed to the bathroom. As I waited, I started to worry that I was actually feeling menstrual cramps. I was praying no. Then I started to get a little light headed, and what...nauseous?? Uh-oh. I got off the toilet and leaned over the tub, gagging for a bit, wishing I hadn't eaten that late-night ramen snack. After my stomach cramps resided a bit, and I was feeling super hot, I knew I needed to lie down but didn't want go far so the floor became my friend. It was cold stone and close to a vomit receptacle if needed. I stayed there as I broke out into a cold sweat, wondering when it would be over - cuz it has to end sometime, right? Wondering if I was going to be one of those ladies who feels like this all the time? Please, Lord, no.

It passed after what seemed like an hour, but was probably only 15 minutes or so. I immediately looked up remedies for morning sickness because OMG I have to do what I can to avoid feeling like that again. Aside from some frequent lightheadedness, I'm doing ok the last couple days. *whew*