What a week

Time has flown since I shared the details of my horrible morning last Tuesday. And Tuesday morning wasn't the end...

I started having abdominal pain in the afternoon that I tried to wait out and let it pass, but it just wouldn't. It hurt to move and I was even tender to the touch sometimes. It was kinda scary after a couple hours so I called my doctor. I was advised to drink lots of water and rest; if the pain doesn't stop in 30-minutes, go to Kapiolani L&D (which is where premies need to be delivered). I ended up going to Kapiolani via the emergency department. Luckily my hubby was off work so he was able to drive me and help keep me calm. Of course my mind was racing, but he reminded me to not assume the worst.

By the time I actually got to see a nurse, my pain had gone down a lot. Long story short, we were there for about 3-hours. I was put on monitoring, gave a urine sample, got an ultrasound, and a couple cervix checks. They calmly told me I was having contractions - since they were calm I assumed I should be too, but it was weird to hear. Since the contractions didn't seem to be changing my cervix, they sent me home with an antibiotic prescription to clear up anything that could be causing complications. I can't remember the last time I took an antibiotic, but I didn't hesitate when it comes to making sure I'm doing everything I can and am supposed to do to benefit the baby.

One thing that made the visit positive was that we got to see him on the ultrasound. Turns out he's already head down. When I thought he was kicking my hip bone, he is actually punching it, while my ribs are getting the actual kicks. Fun to know (still not so fun to feel sometimes, lol). The doc actually did two ultrasounds - the first was to gather info on him, the second was to demonstrate to a new doc how to identify measuring points on a fetus. She said he has great markers (or something like that). Our baby has already been a model example!

Okay, this is turning out longer than I planned, but there's more...

I had to see my doc within a few days to follow-up on all this, rather than waiting for my appointment I had scheduled for the next week. I was glad to see her but it really turns out that I may just be what she called, "a cramper." That's not to say I shouldn't continue to take it easy, but it's good to know what I'm prone to and how to possibly manage it. So it'll be a couple about 2 more months of lots of rest and LOTS of water. Been drinking at least 2-liters a day now. She gave me another prescription for emergency use if I start having regular contractions in an hour in the next few weeks. Another one of those things that I'm glad I have it but the fact that I might need it is kinda scary. Praying that bottle never gets opened!

And finally - on a much lighter note - I awoke from a nap this afternoon with a wet spot on the right side of my tank top. Huh??? Lol. Actually my hubby noticed it first and we realized it was leakage. My tank was dark so I don't know what color it was. I washed it as soon as I realized the spot wasn't going away after a couple hours, but there's still a slight mark right on the boob. Good thing I usually wear it under something. Now I'm paranoid about my shirts and bras. I have some disposable pads but I don't wanna use them up before the baby comes. I'm gonna go get some washable ones which I think are best used for smaller leaks anyways.

To sum it all up...Being pregnant is a trip.

I know I won't forget this morning

I was up off and on last night for various reasons and I still tried to go into work today. Fail. I am not on any normal sleep schedule so trying to get back into routine one day a week is hard, but this morning was the worst I've ever felt. I have been real tired lately but sleep easiest in the afternoons - how convenient. I'm pretty wide awake at night then I wake up around 7 or 8am most days and can't go back to sleep for a couple hours. The only problem is that once I do fall back asleep, I'm out until at least noon.

Last night I was accompanied by hunger and my very active lil baby boy. I ate some Cheerios around 1:30am which was just enough to get my stomach to stop growling. Baby boy is most often up at this time, which is fine cuz I am usually too, but for most of the night he decided to tap dance on my hip. I've read of women complaining about this sensation, and now I know why. I have to always be thankful that he's so active, but it truly kept me up last night. I think he may have shifted positions cuz it's my left hip and right ribs that take a lot of beatings now. I wish I could at least watch him in there, lol.

Anyways, my alarm went off at 5am...I snoozed for 9 min...then it went of again....and I sat...for 15min at the edge of the bed. Trying not to be emotional cuz I knew I was just super tired. I only work 1-day a week and I wanted to suck it up. This time that was a bad idea. After about 2-hours at work it hit me: dizzy, nauseous, hot flashes. Just as the cold sweat was hitting (and by then I was sitting on the floor behind the counter in front of the a/c), I'm pretty sure I passed out. The last thing I remember was closing my eyes cuz I was overwhelmed with all those symptoms, then I woke up with my face on our nasty floor right by the fridge and sinks. Yum.

I had to get outta there but I was slow and dazed. Finally did of course, but felt like crap, not just physically, but for leaving my shift so early. I hate leaving my co-workers hanging, and especially my boss. I usually pull through okay, but I knew I'd be pretty useless if I stayed, and it wouldn't be the healthiest choice for me.

I really think it's the lack of sleep that got to me. I ate a whole peanut butter & jelly sandwich at 5:30, and was drinking water the whole time I had been at work. I even snacked on a little coffee cake and sipped a banana smoothie. I should've been all right, but I guess I gotta learn to read my body better. Sometimes it's hard to remember my body is not the same body as it used to be for now. I have to not compare myself to other pregos too. I feel weaker or less capable than other pregnant women a lot of times. At least I'm not on bed rest I guess.

Well, better get some real sleep. Your prayers are appreciated. ♥

Let the Christmas season begin!

I can actually be excited for Christmas now that my hubby will be off that night. That's the best gift I can ask for. I really don't need anything as far as gifts go; I just wanna know that my baby boy is okay and we have everything we need for him when he comes out. I would love to see my family but that's not gonna happen (aside from my Hawai'i ohana here).

Overall, I honestly don't wanna do the whole gift thing this year. I wanna save money and I do not want to fight the malls. I did buy some stuff to make a few cards but I just wanna take it easy and keep my load light this year. It gets harder to keep that mindset as the day gets closer, cuz I love to give gifts! But I don't like to give a gift just to give one; I like them to be useful and sure to be loved. We all have enough "stuff" and while the thought can be touching, in the end, I don't wanna give random stuff, if possible.

I've had our tree out since last week - I couldn't wait until after Thanksgiving (on which day we had a great lunch with my boss & her family; I love that lady!). It's just a little 2' fiber-optics tree, but it's cute and does the job. I love looking at it. We have our 3 stockings hanging at the bottom: 2 small ones, and 1 mini. :)

That's the latest I guess. We have been real busy with errands most days, and we have our expectant parent class once a week, plus we see the doctor every 2-weeks now. Just getting ready for are son to arrive. I am nesting, but mostly in my head since there's not a whole lot to do in this lil apartment. It makes me so happy to see that J is excited too. Feels good. I can't wait for our family to grow (only 2 more months). +1 on the way!!

Up late again

Insomnia has come back pretty strong for me. Hadn't been an issue since first trimester. I'm not uncomfortable physically, my mind is just overactive I think. I'm excited to be a mama! And we're in our last couple months of pregnancy, which is the time to finish all the prep we can think of for our baby boy. Sometimes I can't sleep until I wear my brain out, but usually I get hungry again before that happens.

Guess I should try to sleep again...after a snack, of course.

Let's catch up a little

Honestly, I've been lazy to blog. Fatigue has returned in the last couple weeks (thank you, third trimester). Before that my husband was sick one week, I got sick the next week, then we had our first disturbing visit to our doctor where we were told my cervix was slightly dilated. This visit happened in the same week the world lost Andy Irons, and I learned my bestie would be leaving the island and my husband would be working Christmas. The good news is I went back a week later for a check-up with my doc and there was little to no progression, which means I have escaped being sentenced to bed rest at this point. We did cut my working down to one day a week, maybe occasionally two, but only opening shifts (shortest) and should be sitting/resting during my shift as much as possible. What a relief and answered prayer that our baby boy isn't trying to come out this early.

What's new? I bought my first maternity jeans that I LOVE and a belly band to hopefully combat back pain and even front pains. I'm experiencing a lot of round ligament pain as I (we) grow; I feel it most when I'm more active. I am learning to take it easier but it really is hard sometimes. I may be lazy at times but I am also a brat and I want to do things when I want to do them. But more and more I learn that my body is not my own for now. Every day is an adjustment not just to how and when I do things, but to my wardrobe as well. I got a new swimsuit that covers what it should and a sarong that covers more when I'm walking down the street. I'm loving the umbrella my honey got me for lounging on the beach while he surfs. Makes me sad that I can't go out with him, but at least I can watch and dream of when I'll get back out there.

We started a class at Queen's for the next 6-weeks, called Expectant Parent Class. Already got us registered and they gave us a tour of the entire maternity floor. It made me so excited to be there and see where the event will happen. That excitement may be contributing my trouble sleeping lately, but at least it's a happy feeling more than worry. The next classes will be about breastfeeding, labor process, postpartum, etc. Luckily, hubby will be there for all of them too so we can learn together. :) He's the best.

Goal: Learn to ask hubby for help more often so I don't feel overwhelmed.

Praise: I will have my boo on Christmas! He still works Christmas Eve but at least I get one of those nights with him. Thank you Jesus!

Pic: Me, today (29-weeks)

Crazy body

I'm 23-weeks along now and growing! I have grown very noticeably especially in the last month. Very exciting and very uncomfortable. This post is just to share (and document) my current symptoms and just stuff about being pregnant...

*Linea negra: the darkening of the skin in a line straight down from belly button.

*Sensitive skin: I've gotten pink (almost burned) from being out in the sun in the last week, with sunscreen! Very rare for me.

*Pimples: more frequent on my face but not too bad, but my chest almost always has a couple :(

*Back pain: hard to manage but I'm doing stretches and learning to bend/lie down/move more properly.

*Energy/Emotions: this last week has been kinda low on both...feeling sad for what seems to be no reason sometimes

*Food cravings: I've really been wanting dairy products a lot. I bumped up my calcium regime to see if that makes a difference but nothing so far. (I should be taking that supplement anyway I'm sure.)

*Bellybutton: has become more shallow and is darker skin inside. I had to change out my stainless steel ring for my old gold one since the other apparently was a little infected.

*Breasts: bigger, and darker pigment

*Hips: a little wider (can't wear most old pants or shorts)

*Feet: I'm still debating whether they've actually grown yet or not. Some shoes feel that way.

*Hair/nails: hair seems normal, currently letting it grow out...nails have been really nice

*Brain: huh?

*Bladder: he's definitely sitting on it

*Baby kicks: He's so active and it only is slightly a nuisance when I'm trying to sleep and he's doing gymnastics, lol. J can only feel it occasionally at this point.

Don't have: sensitivity to smell, edema, nausea, blotchy skin...

Doing well, overall. Putting together a scrapbook for our lil boy to distract me when time passes slow and channel my excitement.

:)

Less than 4-months left

I sit and meditate more and more on how my life and our lives (mine and my husband's together) will change so drastically. The biggest part of me is excited and maybe even feels ready, but there are still those parts of me that are anxious and even sad to let go of the life we have now.

I love being able to spend as much time with J as I can. I know that time will be decreasing and will be different. What I'm confident in is that we are both committed to each other and our relationship; we're aware that it's going to be a struggle for quality time at times but our marriage is important enough to put that extra effort in.

I've known for a long time now that I want to be a mama. I actually have a good amount of confidence in my ability to be one (and the encouragement from my friends and family helps that feeling too). The parts I struggle with are teenage years and just that normal parent worry of "I want the best for my child"..."Will they make the right choices"..."How do I protect them without smothering them?"

Etc...etc...

I'm already a "mom" I guess. As soon as I wanted to become pregnant I had to change how I do things, how I think about things, what I plan my life around. I care for my coming child by what I eat, drink, and do or don't do; it's all about him. That's the difference for women though; we're mom's from conception. Guys get a little more adjustment period but I think it hits them even harder than us in some ways. Being motherly is more natural for women than for men most of the time. We get a head start being mama while the baby is still inside; he is daddy in an instant on the day the baby comes out.

From either side, it's big. I'm just so thankful I can share it all with the love of my life. ♥