The sting of the plank

Just discovered a preverbal plank in my eye. It's not necessarily a sinful one, but still a case of specks, planks and/or looking in the mirror.

My friend is going through some thangs and is feeling alone - that no one can relate to their situation. I always say just because we don't feel some one has experienced the exact same thing doesn't mean you're alone. I still believe this, and know that we all have our own struggles and life stories that aren't identical to anyone else's. However, I seem to doubt a certain person who promises to know my pain and bear my shame: Jesus.

I read and "know" that God hurts when I hurt, but do I live out that knowledge? Do I believe in my heart that he loves me more than myself when he allowed injustice to scar me? Honestly, I hold doubt on this. I can even say I know I'm wrong for this doubt. BUT I still wonder why I had to be shamed in this way and how can Jesus truly understand me when he was never a pervert's prey. Of course he was shamed, and he was violated...but was he molested? No, he wasn't.

The more questions I ask, the more I'm assured that he truly can relate to my hurt. He had no family or friend to turn to. He had no protection from his fate. He was shamed (more than me) - publicly humiliated and even murdered. He felt exposed and abandoned.

I wish I could've been like Him and not sinned out of my disgrace (adding more poo to the pile). That's the real difference between me and Him; not that I was sexually molested and He wasn't.

And yet still, I do wonder why. Why doesn't God stop the injustice? Why does he allow his children to be robbed of dignity? I may never get an answer that satisfies or settles my heart. I can only grow in faith and an understanding of what it means to receive Grace after tragedy. I can only allow my life, from enslaved brokenness to bold freedom, be a light and example the healing process and of why we need to know Jesus to get through it.