Took my pregnancy test on Friday afternoon. Woke up Saturday feeling like I may have eaten something wrong and headed to the bathroom. As I waited, I started to worry that I was actually feeling menstrual cramps. I was praying no. Then I started to get a little light headed, and what...nauseous?? Uh-oh. I got off the toilet and leaned over the tub, gagging for a bit, wishing I hadn't eaten that late-night ramen snack. After my stomach cramps resided a bit, and I was feeling super hot, I knew I needed to lie down but didn't want go far so the floor became my friend. It was cold stone and close to a vomit receptacle if needed. I stayed there as I broke out into a cold sweat, wondering when it would be over - cuz it has to end sometime, right? Wondering if I was going to be one of those ladies who feels like this all the time? Please, Lord, no.
It passed after what seemed like an hour, but was probably only 15 minutes or so. I immediately looked up remedies for morning sickness because OMG I have to do what I can to avoid feeling like that again. Aside from some frequent lightheadedness, I'm doing ok the last couple days. *whew*
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
>>To remain unpublished until...
My period was supposed to start around Fri May 21st...but never did. I have been fairly regular, with a average cycle length of 34 days. I noticed my boobs feeling tender, around Tue, but tried to brush it off (although my mind has not stopped thinking about the possibility of being pregnant since my first day being late!).
Jason went to the store and bought a box with 2 tests inside. He was sleeping even after my nap since he works the night but I took a pregnancy test before he got up because I couldn't wait any longer. It was POSITIVE. I half expected it to be negative, even if I really was pregnant since that's what happened to my mom. Buuuuut nope. :) I put it back in the box, and once he was up I made him bring it to me when I was in the bathroom as if I was going to take it and he pulled out the positive stick. His reaction was great; no disappointment to be seen. We prayed together and are excited. I've made an appointment with my doctor for next Thursday morning, June 3rd.
[pic: pee stick...yep, I peed on that]
An ironic thing is that I started a food journal about 2 weeks ago, since we've been getting sick so much, I wanted to see if my eating habits may have anything to do with it. Turns out there were improvements I could make, and I made them right away (now just to maintain them). The great thing is that I know what I've been eating and not eating for about half of my pregnancy. According to my calculations (4/27: the first time we "tried" since my last period) I am 4 weeks. According to the traditional method (4/18: the first day of my last period) I am almost 6 weeks. Big difference. We'll see who's right when the baby is born, but I'm sure calculations will be based off the traditional methods. ;)
Congrats and Surfing like girls
It's been an interesting couple of weeks - in a good way.
I just watched the Celtics win the Eastern Conference title, after an intense series with the Orlando Magic. The series was up and down and it gave new perspective for me on certain players. I used to like Dwight Howard, but now I see how dirty he really is. I know some Celtics have a reputation for playing dirty, but at least they are more upfront about it. Dwight thanks God every time he's on camera and complains about every call on him just cuz his eyes weren't watching his own elbows and hands as they come down on players. For Celtics, Rondo is still the bomb, and Nate Robinson came through like Doc predicted. Nate gave a straight up shout out to Jesus Christ when he was interviewed (not just God, but Jesus Christ), that's bold, just like he played, I like it. Congrats Celtics!
The Idol finale was Wednesday and it was Lee who took it home. He definitely deserved it; his journey was the most inspiring and his growth was the most evident. Congrats Lee!
~
Last week I got to surf with my ladies! A girl I know and I have been trying to get together for a while. We know each other because I shop as much as she works pretty much, lol. She is an awesome chic. J and I met up with her at Waikiki and the surf was present for us to enjoy. Had a good time and hopefully will again before she moves to Big Island. :(
The week before, my friend from Seattle was in town, and we got to surf twice in a week. It's another friend that I never hung out with one-on-one in Seattle, but once she visited, we hung out 2-3 times, and we even met her family. That's the aloha life I'm talking about.
I just watched the Celtics win the Eastern Conference title, after an intense series with the Orlando Magic. The series was up and down and it gave new perspective for me on certain players. I used to like Dwight Howard, but now I see how dirty he really is. I know some Celtics have a reputation for playing dirty, but at least they are more upfront about it. Dwight thanks God every time he's on camera and complains about every call on him just cuz his eyes weren't watching his own elbows and hands as they come down on players. For Celtics, Rondo is still the bomb, and Nate Robinson came through like Doc predicted. Nate gave a straight up shout out to Jesus Christ when he was interviewed (not just God, but Jesus Christ), that's bold, just like he played, I like it. Congrats Celtics!
The Idol finale was Wednesday and it was Lee who took it home. He definitely deserved it; his journey was the most inspiring and his growth was the most evident. Congrats Lee!
~
Last week I got to surf with my ladies! A girl I know and I have been trying to get together for a while. We know each other because I shop as much as she works pretty much, lol. She is an awesome chic. J and I met up with her at Waikiki and the surf was present for us to enjoy. Had a good time and hopefully will again before she moves to Big Island. :(
The week before, my friend from Seattle was in town, and we got to surf twice in a week. It's another friend that I never hung out with one-on-one in Seattle, but once she visited, we hung out 2-3 times, and we even met her family. That's the aloha life I'm talking about.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The push and pull
I am in quite a funk. It started to really manifest on Saturday night (or morning) when I could not sleep. At first it was because my husband was so sick he couldn't breathe, so I was worried and constantly listening to him hack and blow his nose. We were out of theraflu and other cold meds so at 5:30am I offered to go to the store. I had been on my phone playing games for the last 3 hours so I realized I should help him. I felt so bad, he hadn't slept either, of course. So I got him the sudafed and theraflu, and he was eventually finally able to get some sleep. I on the other hand, still couldn't sleep, and was left with a dilemma: stay up the rest of the morning and go to church OR try to get a little sleep but risk not waking up once I'm out.
I tried to stay awake, because I know once I sleep, getting me up is a hard task. I went down to the coffee shop since my friend was working and helped out around the store. My boss came in and we all chatted and hung out for a bit. I ate a breakfast sandwich and it was one of those things that tasted better than usual because I was starving and borderline delirious. I went upstairs around 8am, but my mind was still up wanting to think and mull and play. By the time 9am was rolling around, I knew I should not drive. Jason was asleep and I decided it was time to force the issue and sleep. 9:30am.
I had another sleepless night last night. I didn't knock out until after 6am this time. This time it was pure mental madness. I had cried earlier about Turtle, since he's still missing and it's almost been 2 months. I still have some hope but as that shrinks it hurts, like it's my own flesh wasting away.
Being sad about that, on top of the fact that I'm missing my family terribly lately, just finally pushed out the tears. I am so torn between trying to visit all the time, to saving money. Or wishing for home, versus making my home here. But it's hard when I know we're gonna move back eventually; but sometimes I think I could stay longer, then other times I want to leave tomorrow. I know J wants to stay, even though we've always planned to go back. But then I have to consider his happiness too. Will he resent going back to Seattle? Will he resent me, and the kids we'll have? They're a big reason I want to go back - to raise them there, around our families, familiar territory, and better schools. Honestly, knowing Turtle isn't waiting for us not only breaks my heart, but that little part of my heart doesn't even wanna go back.
J was of course thrown off by my emotions, and wanted to know what the heck was going through my head. We talked, but I can't just relax. He knows what's on the agenda, and he says he'll cope living there again, but I don't want that. But am I coping here? We have a good life here, but it doesn't feel complete for me. There's so many deeper issues for him and even me, but this is the shell of it all. I'm glad we talk, and I'm glad he holds me even when he doesn't get me.
So what exactly is my problem...
Part of my mental swirl last night was trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. God is in control, so why am I trippin'? Am I trying to control? Am I fearing the unknown? Am I not accepting the cards He's dealt? Am I not being patient for answers to my questions? Am I pouring myself into things that don't have anything to do with pursuing God?
Yes.
I tried to stay awake, because I know once I sleep, getting me up is a hard task. I went down to the coffee shop since my friend was working and helped out around the store. My boss came in and we all chatted and hung out for a bit. I ate a breakfast sandwich and it was one of those things that tasted better than usual because I was starving and borderline delirious. I went upstairs around 8am, but my mind was still up wanting to think and mull and play. By the time 9am was rolling around, I knew I should not drive. Jason was asleep and I decided it was time to force the issue and sleep. 9:30am.
I had another sleepless night last night. I didn't knock out until after 6am this time. This time it was pure mental madness. I had cried earlier about Turtle, since he's still missing and it's almost been 2 months. I still have some hope but as that shrinks it hurts, like it's my own flesh wasting away.
Being sad about that, on top of the fact that I'm missing my family terribly lately, just finally pushed out the tears. I am so torn between trying to visit all the time, to saving money. Or wishing for home, versus making my home here. But it's hard when I know we're gonna move back eventually; but sometimes I think I could stay longer, then other times I want to leave tomorrow. I know J wants to stay, even though we've always planned to go back. But then I have to consider his happiness too. Will he resent going back to Seattle? Will he resent me, and the kids we'll have? They're a big reason I want to go back - to raise them there, around our families, familiar territory, and better schools. Honestly, knowing Turtle isn't waiting for us not only breaks my heart, but that little part of my heart doesn't even wanna go back.
J was of course thrown off by my emotions, and wanted to know what the heck was going through my head. We talked, but I can't just relax. He knows what's on the agenda, and he says he'll cope living there again, but I don't want that. But am I coping here? We have a good life here, but it doesn't feel complete for me. There's so many deeper issues for him and even me, but this is the shell of it all. I'm glad we talk, and I'm glad he holds me even when he doesn't get me.
So what exactly is my problem...
Part of my mental swirl last night was trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. God is in control, so why am I trippin'? Am I trying to control? Am I fearing the unknown? Am I not accepting the cards He's dealt? Am I not being patient for answers to my questions? Am I pouring myself into things that don't have anything to do with pursuing God?
Yes.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
LebRondo Semifinals (Game 5)
I've been a Celtics fan for a few years now, and they just keep getting better. As a team, they impress me. They have multiple star players but can function and even win when one is missing. That shows strength and versatility. That's something I can't find in the teams they've been playing against. The Cavaliers fall apart when LeBron doesn't show them how to play. Then there's the Heat...we know D. Wade is the Heat. The Celtics may lose focus at times, but when they stay focused and don't get too comfortable, they are the b0mb! And I will say I've been a fan of Rondo from the start (even when he played a lil dirty, lol...but him and Garnett are a good pair ;).
Celtics just got the first back-to-back W in the 2010 Eastern Conference Semifinals showdown between the Celtics and the Cavs. Woohoo! I can't wait for game 6 on Thursday. This series has been awesome, as expected.
Celtics just got the first back-to-back W in the 2010 Eastern Conference Semifinals showdown between the Celtics and the Cavs. Woohoo! I can't wait for game 6 on Thursday. This series has been awesome, as expected.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
It's May; one week down
Not sure what to blab about tonight. Just home, my honey is at work, still hate these nights. I am doing ok, just watching tv and going on Facebook. Currently watching Hustle & Flow - sad movie mang. Even if he ended up on the radio, you can't fully rise up while maintaining a 'hood mentality. That's just the truth.
We celebrated my boo's birthday on Thursday (and Friday). We ate lunch buffet at Makino Chaya and dinner at The Yardhouse. We napped, and he got to surf a little. I got him a watch and his favorite cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. We extended our celebration by visiting his family last night, and watching a late showing of Iron Man 2. I generally really dislike seeing movies on opening day because I don't like crowds or waiting (lol) but occasionally I'll do it for my honey. It was kinda worth it, and not as bad as it could've been as far as crowds. Good sequel, not necessarily better than the first, like people have said. Not sure how I feel about Cheadle in the mix, but at least he's not racist. *cough*terrencehoward*cough*
As for American Idol, the last two eliminations have been long overdue. No one on the show has a "bad" voice, but Siobhan and Aaron are not artists in the way the winner of the show should be. Aaron is young; he's got skills and time to develop them. Siobhan can blow but she also would need time to diversify and develop. I'm still routing for Crystal and Lee the most. Casey is ok, but not quite star material. Mike will undoubtedly do something after the show...maybe an album...hopefully broadway.
Gotta get ready for bed soon so I'm rested for church. Last Sunday was awesome. We had missed two weeks in a row, and that never feels good. The message was great - about reading the Bible as a worship, not just discipline. Then the time with the kids was forced inside by rainy weather. We played a game inside and got to break into small groups, which is my favorite time. The other girl and I just kept all the girls in one group, rather than two, which I also like. The subject of demonic oppression via night terrors or even while just trying to sleep came up. Very interesting to see who has experienced it and who hasn't. There's fear in those who haven't experienced it, and almost an unhealthy ignorance about it from those who have. I hope it's something we can continue to dialogue about to educate each other and just make sure it's not dealt with alone for anyone.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas! You are blessed and a blessing!
We celebrated my boo's birthday on Thursday (and Friday). We ate lunch buffet at Makino Chaya and dinner at The Yardhouse. We napped, and he got to surf a little. I got him a watch and his favorite cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. We extended our celebration by visiting his family last night, and watching a late showing of Iron Man 2. I generally really dislike seeing movies on opening day because I don't like crowds or waiting (lol) but occasionally I'll do it for my honey. It was kinda worth it, and not as bad as it could've been as far as crowds. Good sequel, not necessarily better than the first, like people have said. Not sure how I feel about Cheadle in the mix, but at least he's not racist. *cough*terrencehoward*cough*
As for American Idol, the last two eliminations have been long overdue. No one on the show has a "bad" voice, but Siobhan and Aaron are not artists in the way the winner of the show should be. Aaron is young; he's got skills and time to develop them. Siobhan can blow but she also would need time to diversify and develop. I'm still routing for Crystal and Lee the most. Casey is ok, but not quite star material. Mike will undoubtedly do something after the show...maybe an album...hopefully broadway.
Gotta get ready for bed soon so I'm rested for church. Last Sunday was awesome. We had missed two weeks in a row, and that never feels good. The message was great - about reading the Bible as a worship, not just discipline. Then the time with the kids was forced inside by rainy weather. We played a game inside and got to break into small groups, which is my favorite time. The other girl and I just kept all the girls in one group, rather than two, which I also like. The subject of demonic oppression via night terrors or even while just trying to sleep came up. Very interesting to see who has experienced it and who hasn't. There's fear in those who haven't experienced it, and almost an unhealthy ignorance about it from those who have. I hope it's something we can continue to dialogue about to educate each other and just make sure it's not dealt with alone for anyone.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas! You are blessed and a blessing!
Still looking for my Turtle...
Saturday, May 1, 2010
It's May, and my honey loves me
Aloha, well, it's May already. We've zoomed through 4 whole months of this year; time really does go by faster as you get older. Speaking of getting older, my husband's birthday is this coming Thursday. I'm excited to treat him...but I don't know what to do yet! I have some ideas and he said a couple things he wants to do, but I gotta make it really special for him. He always has a surprise for me, and I want him to feel as special as he makes me feel.
Today I got a glimpse of one side of that love. While I do like my job, I applied at Billabong for the heck of it to see if they would hire me on for one day per week (or less, hehe). The interview went well; the manager admitted she wanted to hire me before she even scheduled the interview! That feels good. BUT they ask part time be a minimum of 3 shifts per week, and their shifts are 8 hours long. *sad face* As much as I do want to work there pretty bad, I never intended to inconvenience my current boss. She's good to me, and I would never want to leave her hanging. SO I have a second interview/meeting with her and another manager to find out if she was able to pull some strings to get me down to 2 nights a week, starting at 6pm until about 11:30pm. I'd like that for sure. BUT my honey wants me to do only 1 night per week. This is not a controlling hubby; this is a protective, loving hubby. He is worried about me walking home around midnight, and he would rather buy me everything I want than have me work there just for a discount. This may sound a little silly from an outside perspective, but the way he expressed it to me was so sweet and I'm thankful I didn't get defensive since he basically shot down the idea, but I realized his motives - and I like them.
Back to getting "older"...
His birthday is making me reflect in advance on my 26th birthday in a few months. By no means is that old, but it is over the 20-something hill. That's a weird concept for me, especially with becoming a mama on my mind. I sure hope I pop one out before I'm 27! I can already feel more difference in my body regarding recovery time. I can tell I'm more the tired the next day when I've had a busy day before, or that I really do need those 8 hours of sleep. Not anxious about aging yet, but it's interesting.
Today I got a glimpse of one side of that love. While I do like my job, I applied at Billabong for the heck of it to see if they would hire me on for one day per week (or less, hehe). The interview went well; the manager admitted she wanted to hire me before she even scheduled the interview! That feels good. BUT they ask part time be a minimum of 3 shifts per week, and their shifts are 8 hours long. *sad face* As much as I do want to work there pretty bad, I never intended to inconvenience my current boss. She's good to me, and I would never want to leave her hanging. SO I have a second interview/meeting with her and another manager to find out if she was able to pull some strings to get me down to 2 nights a week, starting at 6pm until about 11:30pm. I'd like that for sure. BUT my honey wants me to do only 1 night per week. This is not a controlling hubby; this is a protective, loving hubby. He is worried about me walking home around midnight, and he would rather buy me everything I want than have me work there just for a discount. This may sound a little silly from an outside perspective, but the way he expressed it to me was so sweet and I'm thankful I didn't get defensive since he basically shot down the idea, but I realized his motives - and I like them.
Back to getting "older"...
His birthday is making me reflect in advance on my 26th birthday in a few months. By no means is that old, but it is over the 20-something hill. That's a weird concept for me, especially with becoming a mama on my mind. I sure hope I pop one out before I'm 27! I can already feel more difference in my body regarding recovery time. I can tell I'm more the tired the next day when I've had a busy day before, or that I really do need those 8 hours of sleep. Not anxious about aging yet, but it's interesting.
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