Feeling Heavy

Today was eventful to say the least. A murder-suicide hits too close to home. Then our state's senate began a special session which infringes on the rights of many while granting "equal" rights to the LGBT community (SB1). I guess I'm not feeling safe on a number of levels tonight as I try to fall asleep. I've always known I'd be bearing and raising children in a world that's far from Pleasantville. There's a false sense of safety we adopt as we turn blind eyes from the evil around us. As we avoid the "bad" neighborhoods and lock our doors at night. 

Even as we attempt to censor what hits our children's senses, we cannot make sense of the stench of this world's insensitivity to our ideals.

And they don't want our 2-cents. We weren't offered a ballot, but a minute on a microphone. A mic that was passionately pleaded into to no avail. Truly our state will suffer as their haste subscribes us all to culture of reverse discrimination. I didn't sign up for this. Native Hawaiians didn't sign up for this. The church didn't sign up for this. 

This special session is wrong on so many levels. I can only continue to pray and trust that God is in control. This presents such a unique opportunity to grow in love and find new ways to demonstrate WWJD. Get ready for growing pains!

As for the gun shots only 3 floors away from me...it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that someone needed help but couldn't see a way out aside from a pistol. My heart breaks for the family that lost a daughter/sister/niece/friend. And a  man without the will to live is being healed at the hospital so he can be sent to jail. I hope he meets Jesus in his time left on Earth. It breaks my heart to relive the fear as those shots rang out, and my son startled from sleep screaming for a hug. It breaks my heart that my false sense of safety between concrete walls has been uncloaked, and my Pleasantville defaced.

Thankfully I don't live in a place where guns are heard frequently. And I am still thankful for those concrete walls. Thankfully I listened to Joyce Meyer talk about being a prisoner of Hope this morning; God knew I'd need it. Thankfully I can be thankful through all of this. And I have Jesus to thank for that.

He > i