He works in mysterious ways

7/21/13:

Feeling a new excitement for the arrival if my baby girl.

I believe God has been waiting for me to change my heart. I believe I need to receive and give forgiveness for sins in my life and childhood, so I can be a better mother.

7/23/13:

She was born.

Can't win

Ne-

Was gonna blog about how I can't win, I can't get a break. Then my kids woke up and mom is back to work again.

Blogging?

Ain't nobody got time for that!

SB no.1 - No Worries

I don't wanna deny people certain rights, but I don't want my rights to disagree denied either.

What may be the final voting on this movement is happening right now as I write. I have grasped a peace about it. Even if it does pass, which it probably will, being out of the voters' hands, we are gonna be okay. 

While American laws and values used to reflect Biblical law, more and more this is just no longer the case. This is our opportunity as Bible-believing Christians to practice what we preach, by living our lives not by worldly standards but by God's standards. Living by faith. Although it seems in vain that so many testified these last few days, the Bible reminds us that standing on God's Truth is never in vain. We do what we think Jesus would do and we trust the outcome is part of His plan, whatever it may be. My prayer is that the righteousness of His people will preserve Hawai'i, and even this country.

I don't doubt that one day every state will recognize same-sex marriage. It is the will of this worldly world. I say praise God that their definitions and laws don't change a letter of God's Truth. It may affect our jobs. It may affect our friendships. It may affect our schools. We'll have to make adjustments for sure. But it will not change our faith, unless we allow it to. Our hope is in Jesus, not people. 

Feeling Heavy

Today was eventful to say the least. A murder-suicide hits too close to home. Then our state's senate began a special session which infringes on the rights of many while granting "equal" rights to the LGBT community (SB1). I guess I'm not feeling safe on a number of levels tonight as I try to fall asleep. I've always known I'd be bearing and raising children in a world that's far from Pleasantville. There's a false sense of safety we adopt as we turn blind eyes from the evil around us. As we avoid the "bad" neighborhoods and lock our doors at night. 

Even as we attempt to censor what hits our children's senses, we cannot make sense of the stench of this world's insensitivity to our ideals.

And they don't want our 2-cents. We weren't offered a ballot, but a minute on a microphone. A mic that was passionately pleaded into to no avail. Truly our state will suffer as their haste subscribes us all to culture of reverse discrimination. I didn't sign up for this. Native Hawaiians didn't sign up for this. The church didn't sign up for this. 

This special session is wrong on so many levels. I can only continue to pray and trust that God is in control. This presents such a unique opportunity to grow in love and find new ways to demonstrate WWJD. Get ready for growing pains!

As for the gun shots only 3 floors away from me...it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that someone needed help but couldn't see a way out aside from a pistol. My heart breaks for the family that lost a daughter/sister/niece/friend. And a  man without the will to live is being healed at the hospital so he can be sent to jail. I hope he meets Jesus in his time left on Earth. It breaks my heart to relive the fear as those shots rang out, and my son startled from sleep screaming for a hug. It breaks my heart that my false sense of safety between concrete walls has been uncloaked, and my Pleasantville defaced.

Thankfully I don't live in a place where guns are heard frequently. And I am still thankful for those concrete walls. Thankfully I listened to Joyce Meyer talk about being a prisoner of Hope this morning; God knew I'd need it. Thankfully I can be thankful through all of this. And I have Jesus to thank for that.

He > i

Dear Baby Girl...

Wow, you're almost 2 months old! Time doesn't stop flying by, especially with having two of you kids now. You and your brother are so sweet together. You already watch him running around, and we can tell you like it when he kisses you (even if it's hard). 

You are more precious to me each day I spend with you. There are times you give me the biggest smile and it makes my day. I can't wait to hear you laugh! 

Everyone notices how strong you are and how much neck control you have already. Go girl! You may be getting a tooth already, but we're not quite sure. Early just like me and your brother. Sorry, lol. You're eyes are still blue and you are pretty much bald. You're hair is coming in (along with longer eyelashes) but I think we'll be waiting a little longer for those eyes to change. 

Your daddy and I have had a hard time deciding who you look like but we're being told more and more that you look like daddy, especially when he was a baby. You're much lighter of course, but that's from grandma's side. Can't wait to see how your beauty will blossom as you grow.

Love you mucho!

Yo Mama

P.S. Thanks for sleeping 5-7 hours straight most nights! :) Mama like.

3 + 1 = 4!

We are officially a family of 4. Almost a whole month has passed already. It's been a fairly smooth transition thanks to my wonderful familia. 

My hubby has been more than awesome, taking over most responsibilities here at home. I feel so loved and taken care of, and even spoiled! I am anxious for the day he goes back to work. I rely on him a lot and I don't have the most confidence in myself to do as good a job with the kids as we do together all day. Praying!

Our son (2 1/2) has been the absolute best big brother! We're so proud of him. From day 1 he has been sweet and helpful. What a blessing. It melts my heart when he hugs and kisses her all on his own. He gets a little overwhelmed sometimes when she cries, but still tries to calm her down. We're trying to make sure he gets time with me to maintain his security and continue to avoid jealousy. I miss him as much as he misses me though! We had a date night just me and him the other night; this will be a regular thing.

Our baby girl (almost 4 weeks) has been great too. She has been a much better sleeper than her big brother was, especially at night. This has made all the difference. I can feel sane if I'm getting a reasonable amount of rest. Sleep with a newborn around is always broken, but its amazing how good you can feel off spurts of 3-4 hours of sleep in a row. LOL 

She's putting on weight well and eating up a storm. I can tell she's growing every day. She's starting to have more awake time, and tracking us when we talk. It's all familiar, remembering how babies are, but kinda new at the same time.

Home stretch?

Just playing the waiting game with our lil lady now. Saw my doc today and there still hasn't been much of any progression for a couple weeks now. Boo. I think I'm ready now - as for hubby, he'll take another week lol. A few more days will be good so big brother can get over his cold, I guess.

Can't help but think that tomorrow is 10-days til due date, and that's when our son was born. So tonight I'll be extra on guard for signs of labor I'm sure haha. I'm having some pretty painful cramps now actually...hmmmmmm. 

I guess I'm feeling more ready cuz I'm feeling more peace about her arrival. Labor is still scary but once we bring her home I can picture it all working out a little more than I had been dreading most this time. I know it won't be easy but I think we should definitely be excited for this new child we'll have, especially since our first is such a huge joy in our lives.

Tick tock... Tick tock.

Prego blues

Feeling super whack. Pretty much just low. Week 35 has been the longest yet I think. I'm just getting more and more tired, which leaves me less than productive, which makes me stressed, which makes me more stressed cuz there's nothing I can really do about it. Sometimes coffee helps, sometimes not. I don't wanna drink a lot anyway. 

I wanna listen to my body and simply rest, but I have things I'd like to get done, and I have a 2-year old. He's a good boy but he has more energy than I can entertain these days. I feel bad I can't take him out like I used to, or even play as much or the way we used to. It's frustrating for him too, but probably more for me. 

I would really love a couple days to zone out, guilt free. Sleep whenever I feel the need, no cleaning or cooking, etc. I don't see that happening but it sounds nice. Even if life allowed it, I probably couldn't keep from feeling guilty about doing nothing. Boo.

36 weeks tomorrow. As lame as I feel I do pray she stays in at least another week, and comes out when she'll be most healthy.

35 weeks already!

Well even though my due date is a little over a month away, I'll be considered full term in less than 2 weeks. That is a trip. I have a sense of urgency like she could come any day from this point on. Never know, but I do hope we make it to 37 weeks for her sake (weight gain, development, etc). I have enough done that she could come and I might not freak out. Haha, might not.

My second pregnancy has been so different than the first. I'm blessed to have had few complications again, but I just feel more uncomfortable and I'm bigger. I know this cuz I've outgrown most the things I wore last time! I think I weigh about the same though, just more stretched out I guess. Having a 2-year old has made this harder too. I am beyond blessed that he's such a good kid. I can't imagine how it would be with a true rascal. Seeing him interact with my tummy, and get excited when she moves, and how he likes to look at her sonogram pictures warms my heart so deep. I believe he's gonna be such a great big brother! He already shows concern for her. One time when we went to see fireworks at Magic Island, once they started he looked back and said "Oh, baby" as if to check on her. Too sweet. Back in 2nd trimester I tried to wear my belly support (which I always forget now) but he would say "No! Baby!" all pull on it. I just love this kid. She will be one lucky lil lady.

She isn't short of extended family either. Our church ohana just threw us a shower and I didn't expect it. They definitely showed us the love, and I needed it. Been feeling a bit lonely, missing my friends on the mainland, and just having a friend to hang out with for no reason. But anyways, that's another story for another time. Thankful for the gifts and love from our people here for sure. 

Okay, time to rest my mushy brain til the boy wakes up.

How a fart stopped a fire

Really, it's true! It went like this...

I started the rice cooker a few minutes before my son and I went to take our nap. I knew we would be asleep when hubby woke up to go to work and might want some rice to go with whatever he eats. I do this all the time. I will never do it again.

This afternoon the boy was a little more resistant for his nap. He was rolling around, talking, and trying to play. At one point he said, "Big doo doo." I asked if he needed/wanted to use the potty, but no. I told him just sleep then. I was trying to sleep until I got a whif of something. Geez! The last thing I wanna do is clean up some poo; I'm ready to sleep. Why did you have to go now? 

I got up to get wipes since there were none in the room and immediately I could smell something burning. My first thought was, what are the neighbors cooking (or burning)? But it was so strong I got more curious and concerned, and went to investigate the kitchen. Did I leave something on? I hadn't even cooked since breakfast. Then I noticed the rice cooker was still switched to "cook" but it had been going for almost an hour by then and should be been on "warm." I gave the switch a little tap and it went to "warm." Too late buddy! The rice touching the pot was burning. I added some water to cool it faster but I have yet to see the mess it's created inside. This has never happened! I'm guessing we need a new rice cooker because it's not worth the risk.

When I went back to change that diaper, there was no poo! He must have just carte. But his fart averted a potential disaster! Hooray for timely flatulence! 

 

Letter to my son

Dear Baby Boy,

Can I still call you that? You are growing up every day. Bittersweet as I balance being proud and in awe of you, while trying to hold on to you as tight as I can. You're little sister will be here in a couple of months. Many things will change, I won't pretend they aren't. But you will always be a treasure and pleasure rooted deep in my heart. I love you to the stars and back; that will NEVER change. 

Here are some things I know may change but I don't want to forget...

The way you say "tubig-de" for tubig. We don't know why (and we should correct you more) but its way too cute.

Sometimes at night you hold my hand as you fall asleep. How do I ever let go??

You love the pool, the ocean, and your bath. If there is a puddle, you will stomp in it. If there is a fountain, you will wish you were in it. I love your love for water!

You're building your golf skills and I'm curious to see where it may take you in the future.

You are an eager helper, all day every day. I'm so impressed with your awareness of others and even how you take initiative to do chores on your own. 

Oh son, there's so much more. Every day with you is a blessing. I'm sorry I'm not always patient or understanding of your moods or actions. I pray you will always remember through it all that I love you fully and unconditionally.

Love,

Mommy

Happy New Year 2013

2012 felt like a 3-day weekend. How can a year pass so quickly? This past year, God has strengthened my heart to speak more boldly in love to and for my friends and family. He has grown my faith, because even as I meander along His straight and narrow path, He never turns His back on me for a second.

Cheers! To a 2013 filled with more growth and blessings we never saw coming.