Being selfish (no.1)

I got tired of living my life by only following through with something based on guilt or anger. I didn't like that my actions or decisions were primarily based on other people; either I didn't it to make them happy, or I did it to hurt them. Or I would only have the motivation to get something done because I was channeling frustration into action.

Relationships guide our decisions but they should not completely govern them. I value being considerate and aware of others, but I despise being controlled or manipulated by others (as most of us do). 

So what did I do? Well I still struggle today with this sometimes - a lack of motivation or follow-through. However I have a better understanding of what I am responsible for: other peoples' feelings isn't one of them. Not that I don't care how my actions affect others, but it will not make my decision for me anymore. 

I know myself better too, and what I need or don't need, and I respect my own boundaries. For example, I can't remember the last time I over-committed myself to too many activities. I just don't say yes if I'm not 100% sure I'll have the time or energy to commit. Saying no is selfish, but sometimes that's okay.

Busy busy busy

We're all so busy ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I think I fight being busy. I avoid commitments so I don't overload my schedule (or myself). I have learned lessons on boundaries and that is one of my personal boundaries I am pretty aware of. I'm not saying I'm always right to shy away from commitments, but I am glad that I no longer jam pack my life with so many activities that I am never home or forget what's really important. it's easy to lose sight of important things that are right in your face when you're always looking towards what's next on the to-do list. More of us should include quiet or down time on our to-do list. I know I do.