Having a rough time

Well my cat is still missing back in Lynnwood. I've been off of work, which has allowed me to let it out a little more. Overall, I can only describe myself as in a daze. I am sad and I don't know what to do with myself half the time. I need distraction from my emotions but I don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything. I'm not giving up on life but I am struggling to lose the battle with discouragement and isolation. My husband got me out in the water today, which was probably a good thing. I had fun longboarding and doing silly tricks, I the weight in my chest never really goes away. (And it won't until we have a resolution to this whole thing.) We called the local vets in my mom's area and no Turtle, but a couple of them let us email pics and info about him, so that's one more step to spreading the word, and many more eyes on the lookout.

The day was not complete without my honey dropping our house key down an elevator shaft - luckily not my wedding ring which was also in his hand! Then I hit our rear fender on a corner in the parking garage. Then I dropped burger grease on my new favorite dress at dinner.

One of those days I guess...

I honestly am hating being so far from home right now (and any time something is going wrong over there). I can't wait to move back. I don't think I'm made to be away. As much as it can be nice to have so much more time with my husband and just having the ocean as a playground, I want to be near our parents and other loved ones.

~ ~ ~

We're still trying to focus on getting pregnant. I don't know how I'll keep from talking about it once it happens but I'll do my best until I'm in the "safe zone." And on another more positive note, I have been reading my Bible pretty much every single day for over a week now. That is a great achievement for me, because consistency in the Word has always been a struggle for me. A big thanks to one of my besties for sending me a link YouVersion.com where you can choose a reading plan to fit your goals in reading through the Bible. I don't know if it's the checklist that gets me or what but I am reading and drawing closer to Him which is what I need more than ever right now.

From Fear to Respect

Living in Hawai'i has brought me to a new relationship with the ocean. I didn't grow up with much of a fascination with the ocean, and really just had a fear of deep, dark waters. The ocean on the Washington and Oregon coast is painfully cold and the beaches are generally cloudy and windy. I don't stand well against those elements.

While I do still fear really deep, dark waters, after spending so much time in the ocean I definitely have much more respect for it than plain ol' fear. I don't fear it simply out of ignorance, but out of recognition for the power behind every inch of it. I'm not only conscious of my water consumption because someone told me to be, but because it's my back yard (and technically my front, and side yards too). I don't take for granted that it hasn't swallowed me up or that there's so much of it we're only specs it its eye. There's life in it and throughout it.

This mindset reminds of having a relationship with God. The ocean is not a god, nor do I believe in "ocean gods" but I do know that God created the ocean. And while the ocean is a large creation, God is an even larger creator. We might fear Him when we don't know Him or understand Him, but once we experience His mercies and love, we gain new respect for God. He's not a tyrant, angry and controlling in the sky; He's a wise, sacrificial, forgiving Father.

We may be smaller than even a spec in His eye, but we are the apple of it.

Hawai'i seems to have dodged a bullet (1:00pm)

The earthquake in Chile in 1960 triggered a huge tsunami that caused terrible damage to Hilo. This quake was smaller, but large on the scales and yet our shores are basically unaffected by the energy that has traveled 6,000 miles.

We're not to resume normal activity yet; the "all clear" has not been given. To their own risk there are many boats returning to the open harbors, and several people can be seen walking the streets and/or on the beaches. Things may have been much milder than originally anticipated, but why risk it? We live on an island, the beach will be there in a few hours - which the most time we would be waiting at this point. It's only 1:00pm and it's Saturday, chill people! It's not weak or foolish to take precautions. I think it's about respecting the ocean and it's power, and it's many potential dangers.

I want to wait and see first hand if any significant water activity will happen, but I am soooo tired! My honey has been sleeping this whole time - lucky him, guess he didn't miss much. Tsunami arrived on Hawaiian time as a keiki rather than a big kahuna: *phew*

Let's keep praying that the worst is over this time for our Hawai'i...

Timeline as the ocean stirs

11:57am

I guess what I'm feeling anxious for is the aftermath of the rising sea level. Whether the waves themselves are considered large, the water will damage local businesses and just the flow of our lives. That is what I have to hand over to God.

The reef is less exposed at Ala Moana, and surf there and here seems to be getting choppier.

12:07pm

Hilo waters very discolored. Small waves/surges have arrived but nothing severe; no damages.

12:10pm

The reef at Ala Moana is very exposed again. Waters seem to be fluctuating noticeably on the south shore of O'ahu. Again, no damages or significant water on shore. Many traffic cameras are now facing the ocean.

Reports of tsunami activity all over the world from the earthquake in Chile.

12:21pm

Kauai currently looks calm.

All islands are anticipating more ocean action. Hold mode...we wait...well most of us are. There are reports of people wading around in Waikiki and even Ala Moana. Bad idea, since the ocean is unpredictable and unforgiving.

12:25pm

Harbors and beaches are barren. North shore is like a ghost town; many voluntary evacuations taking place there, but Kam Hwy is closed. Changing water levels reported up there too.

The threat is still present for all islands until the "all clear" is given.

Hale, surf, dining in

Leaving Seattle was kind of hard again, but easier this second time around. Life is back in local motion here and I'm torn more than ever between my two worlds.

Been surfing the last two days and it's been sweeeeeeeet. It's quality time with my babe and the ocean. I'm getting better and feeling more confident, especially when it's minus the butthole surfers. Choice waves during sunset: mmmmm.

But the biggest news that is not news at all is that my hubby and I overspend on dining out. DURRRRR. We're at a point where we're feeling it and need to pull back for about a week until next payday or face overdrafting and/or transfer out of savings (which is the wrong way). Bad timing for our search for a nice new longboard...*sighhh.*

Worn out from a fun day

After observing a little bit this morning, and talking with the owner a lot, I am really excited to start working at this coffee shop. My new boss and I see eye-to-eye in many aspects of life and coffee. Very important and very FuN.

Met up with Hubby after and we went surfing. 1 rental board, 1 of his. It was a little windy for me, which made it colder and choppy (yes, I do get cold even outside here in Hawai'i). Good times, talked with a koo local surfer lady out there, maybe we'll see her again next time...

We went and ate lunch and Uncle's, then I felt the fatigue in my amateur arms start to set in. Took a nap while the boys got ready, then took those youngin's (9, 10, 18) to the beach with boogie boards and goggles. I watched them jump off the wall while I tried to save my skin from burning. Going to the beach once a day can be hard on my light skin, but twice made me a little worried. I'm ok though, no red today.

While they went to the pool, I made some chicken nuggets and brought 'em down. Then the boys & my boo played ping-pong while I began this blog upstairs.

I'm exhausted! But it was a great day. I love hanging with my boo and with the youngin's. I still have the motion of the ocean in my system so I'm actually kinda dizzy but nothing some chamomile can't calm I hope. I have orientation in the 9:00am, but since the 18-yr old youngin' will be staying the night, hopefully we'll still have time to wind down with a movie over here at our apartment...oh, and a snack too of course!

*Special note: It's my dear friends birthday back in Seattle, and I so wish I could be there to celebrate her life :) Happy Birthday J! Love you!*

...also, here's a pic of Turtle, sent to me today:

wow i miss this cat *sighhhhh