I know I won't forget this morning

I was up off and on last night for various reasons and I still tried to go into work today. Fail. I am not on any normal sleep schedule so trying to get back into routine one day a week is hard, but this morning was the worst I've ever felt. I have been real tired lately but sleep easiest in the afternoons - how convenient. I'm pretty wide awake at night then I wake up around 7 or 8am most days and can't go back to sleep for a couple hours. The only problem is that once I do fall back asleep, I'm out until at least noon.

Last night I was accompanied by hunger and my very active lil baby boy. I ate some Cheerios around 1:30am which was just enough to get my stomach to stop growling. Baby boy is most often up at this time, which is fine cuz I am usually too, but for most of the night he decided to tap dance on my hip. I've read of women complaining about this sensation, and now I know why. I have to always be thankful that he's so active, but it truly kept me up last night. I think he may have shifted positions cuz it's my left hip and right ribs that take a lot of beatings now. I wish I could at least watch him in there, lol.

Anyways, my alarm went off at 5am...I snoozed for 9 min...then it went of again....and I sat...for 15min at the edge of the bed. Trying not to be emotional cuz I knew I was just super tired. I only work 1-day a week and I wanted to suck it up. This time that was a bad idea. After about 2-hours at work it hit me: dizzy, nauseous, hot flashes. Just as the cold sweat was hitting (and by then I was sitting on the floor behind the counter in front of the a/c), I'm pretty sure I passed out. The last thing I remember was closing my eyes cuz I was overwhelmed with all those symptoms, then I woke up with my face on our nasty floor right by the fridge and sinks. Yum.

I had to get outta there but I was slow and dazed. Finally did of course, but felt like crap, not just physically, but for leaving my shift so early. I hate leaving my co-workers hanging, and especially my boss. I usually pull through okay, but I knew I'd be pretty useless if I stayed, and it wouldn't be the healthiest choice for me.

I really think it's the lack of sleep that got to me. I ate a whole peanut butter & jelly sandwich at 5:30, and was drinking water the whole time I had been at work. I even snacked on a little coffee cake and sipped a banana smoothie. I should've been all right, but I guess I gotta learn to read my body better. Sometimes it's hard to remember my body is not the same body as it used to be for now. I have to not compare myself to other pregos too. I feel weaker or less capable than other pregnant women a lot of times. At least I'm not on bed rest I guess.

Well, better get some real sleep. Your prayers are appreciated. ♥

Let the Christmas season begin!

I can actually be excited for Christmas now that my hubby will be off that night. That's the best gift I can ask for. I really don't need anything as far as gifts go; I just wanna know that my baby boy is okay and we have everything we need for him when he comes out. I would love to see my family but that's not gonna happen (aside from my Hawai'i ohana here).

Overall, I honestly don't wanna do the whole gift thing this year. I wanna save money and I do not want to fight the malls. I did buy some stuff to make a few cards but I just wanna take it easy and keep my load light this year. It gets harder to keep that mindset as the day gets closer, cuz I love to give gifts! But I don't like to give a gift just to give one; I like them to be useful and sure to be loved. We all have enough "stuff" and while the thought can be touching, in the end, I don't wanna give random stuff, if possible.

I've had our tree out since last week - I couldn't wait until after Thanksgiving (on which day we had a great lunch with my boss & her family; I love that lady!). It's just a little 2' fiber-optics tree, but it's cute and does the job. I love looking at it. We have our 3 stockings hanging at the bottom: 2 small ones, and 1 mini. :)

That's the latest I guess. We have been real busy with errands most days, and we have our expectant parent class once a week, plus we see the doctor every 2-weeks now. Just getting ready for are son to arrive. I am nesting, but mostly in my head since there's not a whole lot to do in this lil apartment. It makes me so happy to see that J is excited too. Feels good. I can't wait for our family to grow (only 2 more months). +1 on the way!!

Let's catch up a little

Honestly, I've been lazy to blog. Fatigue has returned in the last couple weeks (thank you, third trimester). Before that my husband was sick one week, I got sick the next week, then we had our first disturbing visit to our doctor where we were told my cervix was slightly dilated. This visit happened in the same week the world lost Andy Irons, and I learned my bestie would be leaving the island and my husband would be working Christmas. The good news is I went back a week later for a check-up with my doc and there was little to no progression, which means I have escaped being sentenced to bed rest at this point. We did cut my working down to one day a week, maybe occasionally two, but only opening shifts (shortest) and should be sitting/resting during my shift as much as possible. What a relief and answered prayer that our baby boy isn't trying to come out this early.

What's new? I bought my first maternity jeans that I LOVE and a belly band to hopefully combat back pain and even front pains. I'm experiencing a lot of round ligament pain as I (we) grow; I feel it most when I'm more active. I am learning to take it easier but it really is hard sometimes. I may be lazy at times but I am also a brat and I want to do things when I want to do them. But more and more I learn that my body is not my own for now. Every day is an adjustment not just to how and when I do things, but to my wardrobe as well. I got a new swimsuit that covers what it should and a sarong that covers more when I'm walking down the street. I'm loving the umbrella my honey got me for lounging on the beach while he surfs. Makes me sad that I can't go out with him, but at least I can watch and dream of when I'll get back out there.

We started a class at Queen's for the next 6-weeks, called Expectant Parent Class. Already got us registered and they gave us a tour of the entire maternity floor. It made me so excited to be there and see where the event will happen. That excitement may be contributing my trouble sleeping lately, but at least it's a happy feeling more than worry. The next classes will be about breastfeeding, labor process, postpartum, etc. Luckily, hubby will be there for all of them too so we can learn together. :) He's the best.

Goal: Learn to ask hubby for help more often so I don't feel overwhelmed.

Praise: I will have my boo on Christmas! He still works Christmas Eve but at least I get one of those nights with him. Thank you Jesus!

Pic: Me, today (29-weeks)

>>2 Months

I am now 8-weeks 1-day along. My nausea has improved overall, but I've been feeling really tired lately but for some reason my naps suck. It feels like I'm not asleep but I'll be in bed for hours...weird, can't explain. I definitely need more consistent sleep. If I thought mornings were hard before, I can't express how hard it is to get out of bed nowadays. Went to work today and wanted to push myself to stay as long as possible; I did, but not without gagging after a rush we had. I felt bad for my coworker, but thankful that since there were so many people they didn't hear me behind the counter. Eek.

Lately I notice a correlation between my cramps and gas. This is kind of comforting since I know cramping can be a sign of bad things if more than growing pains in my uterus. No other "bad" signs so far (no spotting of any kind). Feeling pretty confident, but still keeping reality in check since I know I have another month to go until the second trimester.

The embryo is the size of a kidney bean but growing steadily. In my pregnancy journal there was a couple lines to write a message from you and your partner...

From me: keep growing :)

From daddy: hurry up and become a fetus! :D

It's May; one week down

Not sure what to blab about tonight. Just home, my honey is at work, still hate these nights. I am doing ok, just watching tv and going on Facebook. Currently watching Hustle & Flow - sad movie mang. Even if he ended up on the radio, you can't fully rise up while maintaining a 'hood mentality. That's just the truth.

We celebrated my boo's birthday on Thursday (and Friday). We ate lunch buffet at Makino Chaya and dinner at The Yardhouse. We napped, and he got to surf a little. I got him a watch and his favorite cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. We extended our celebration by visiting his family last night, and watching a late showing of Iron Man 2. I generally really dislike seeing movies on opening day because I don't like crowds or waiting (lol) but occasionally I'll do it for my honey. It was kinda worth it, and not as bad as it could've been as far as crowds. Good sequel, not necessarily better than the first, like people have said. Not sure how I feel about Cheadle in the mix, but at least he's not racist. *cough*terrencehoward*cough*

As for American Idol, the last two eliminations have been long overdue. No one on the show has a "bad" voice, but Siobhan and Aaron are not artists in the way the winner of the show should be. Aaron is young; he's got skills and time to develop them. Siobhan can blow but she also would need time to diversify and develop. I'm still routing for Crystal and Lee the most. Casey is ok, but not quite star material. Mike will undoubtedly do something after the show...maybe an album...hopefully broadway.

Gotta get ready for bed soon so I'm rested for church. Last Sunday was awesome. We had missed two weeks in a row, and that never feels good. The message was great - about reading the Bible as a worship, not just discipline. Then the time with the kids was forced inside by rainy weather. We played a game inside and got to break into small groups, which is my favorite time. The other girl and I just kept all the girls in one group, rather than two, which I also like. The subject of demonic oppression via night terrors or even while just trying to sleep came up. Very interesting to see who has experienced it and who hasn't. There's fear in those who haven't experienced it, and almost an unhealthy ignorance about it from those who have. I hope it's something we can continue to dialogue about to educate each other and just make sure it's not dealt with alone for anyone.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas! You are blessed and a blessing!

Still looking for my Turtle...

It's May, and my honey loves me

Aloha, well, it's May already. We've zoomed through 4 whole months of this year; time really does go by faster as you get older. Speaking of getting older, my husband's birthday is this coming Thursday. I'm excited to treat him...but I don't know what to do yet! I have some ideas and he said a couple things he wants to do, but I gotta make it really special for him. He always has a surprise for me, and I want him to feel as special as he makes me feel.

Today I got a glimpse of one side of that love. While I do like my job, I applied at Billabong for the heck of it to see if they would hire me on for one day per week (or less, hehe). The interview went well; the manager admitted she wanted to hire me before she even scheduled the interview! That feels good. BUT they ask part time be a minimum of 3 shifts per week, and their shifts are 8 hours long. *sad face* As much as I do want to work there pretty bad, I never intended to inconvenience my current boss. She's good to me, and I would never want to leave her hanging. SO I have a second interview/meeting with her and another manager to find out if she was able to pull some strings to get me down to 2 nights a week, starting at 6pm until about 11:30pm. I'd like that for sure. BUT my honey wants me to do only 1 night per week. This is not a controlling hubby; this is a protective, loving hubby. He is worried about me walking home around midnight, and he would rather buy me everything I want than have me work there just for a discount. This may sound a little silly from an outside perspective, but the way he expressed it to me was so sweet and I'm thankful I didn't get defensive since he basically shot down the idea, but I realized his motives - and I like them.

Back to getting "older"...

His birthday is making me reflect in advance on my 26th birthday in a few months. By no means is that old, but it is over the 20-something hill. That's a weird concept for me, especially with becoming a mama on my mind. I sure hope I pop one out before I'm 27! I can already feel more difference in my body regarding recovery time. I can tell I'm more the tired the next day when I've had a busy day before, or that I really do need those 8 hours of sleep. Not anxious about aging yet, but it's interesting.

I'm sick of being sick!

So I was sick for about a week and I swear I got better but now as of Wednesday night I'm sick again. Annoying. Being sick always feels like such a waste of time. I have been disciplined and not surfing in hopes to speed my recoveries but it doesn't seem to help with whatever I have. I miss surfing. And I even have now called out from work twice - the only two times since I started. Ugghhhh! At least we made it to the grocery store in the short time I was feeling up to it. I love having a cupboard and fridge full of goodies.

Another good thing that lifts my spirits is that they finally aired an episode of Ugly Betty. I am so sad that the show is going to end. I LOVE UGLY BETTY! The show is so awesome I don't understand why it can't continue. Maybe it doesn't have enough explicit sex or ridiculous relationships flying all around, and America Ferrera may not be considered the "ideal" hot body, but girl is beautiful, and represents a demographic that is more relatable than a super model type. She is a woman of color with a good head on her shoulders and meat on her bones. She's imperfect and can admit it; very vulnerable and always growing. C'mon people! Is it too much to ask to have a show that is positive and dramatic and quirky all at the same time?

I digress...

Your prayers of healing and quick recovery are welcomed. My chest is heavy, my throat is scratchy, and I've run a low fever off and on. I'm going to keep resting as a priority and keep my hot honey/lemon/ginger water handy. I am trying to avoid my usual Theraflu doses on the small chance that I could be pregnant. (I read that you shouldn't take it if pregnant due to high potency, etc.) I don't know if I'm even late since my cycles are still very irregular but I don't like taking chances - nah mean? I've been curving my diet and vices preparing myself for that time which I hope will come soon.

Tsunami en route (10:14am)

This is my first official tsunami warning since living here, and apparently the first one for the island in a long time. This is quite an experience, especially coming from the mainland. At this point I'm trusting that the posted evacuation zones are accurate and intelligently placed. We are technically 2 blocks passed the evac area for Waikiki. Click the following link to see our inundation zone guidelines (we are one block west of the Jefferson Elementary School):

Civil Defense Tsunami Evacuation Zone

I'm still sick so I was trying to sleep in until closer to the first estimated impact, but with the state sirens going off every hour and the hotel announcements invading our apartment, there was not much sleep to be had for me. In between dozing I have been texting my local homies to check in and check up. Turns out my work was really slammed so I went in to help lighten the load, so they could close sooner. Glad I did, because it was quite a scene down there.

This warning comes as a result of the large earthquake that hit Chile yesterday. Basically, the first wave is estimated to hit O'ahu around 11:18am HST (Hilo will be hit first, at 11:05am). It's currently 10:14am HST. Thank goodness it is day time and not a business day. I feel for the tourists that are trippin' right now because I know if I was on vacation and all I knew about tsunamis was movies and the tragedy in Indonesia, I would wanna leave now!

I am also comforted by the fact that I live in a concrete building, on the 21st floor. I only wish our lanai faced the ocean head on so I could see what may be.

...more later...

Unexpected day; Grace abounds

I never would've predicted today to be the way it ended up. Before I went to sleep last night I thought to myself it will be just another day off - sleeping in, passing time until my hubby wakes up before he goes to work.

Um, no...

I woke up to a call about work. My boss is still out of town and there are associates of hers helping out with store-runs for supplies. We have had the usual trouble of getting everyone at the store participating in making lists, and I am only one woman (now I really know how my boss feels). Long story short, one person was apparently frustrated that they were going to the store so often so abruptly ended our conversation after receiving a call from my co-workers who were on the clock after he had already left the store. I text soon after that I sensed the irritation but it was unnecessary as we can go to the store ourselves if it's not convenient for him. He never replied as to whether or not he was getting all our stuff so I waited...

...in the mean time...

I went to the pool deck to check my messages, Twitter, Facebook, etc, and chill out. Turns out I wasn't going to pick my friend up from the airport later as planned, since she didn't make the flight. Ok, that's no problem. Then I see a text from an old friend, long since out of touch. We've recently (as well as off and on) been messaging on Facebook and just exchanged numbers. We ended up texting for a bit then talking on the phone for over an hour, catching up and filling in the gaps. What timing; I needed that. I hope we really keep in touch, and keep the laughs going. We're both nuts and it just works.

...back to the store...

So finally I text to inquire as to whether our supplies are coming or not - we just needed to know. I end up running to the store, which was fine, I needed some things for home anyways. Sad to say, it was the first time I drove to and shopped at Safeway by myself since we moved here. Yeah, I know. Anyways, I called my boss, which I've been trying to avoid, to verify what I should get and what I should let the store go without for possibly a day. She graciously assisted me while on her vacation and I happily delivered the goods.

...oh yeah, the airport...

Turns out the boxes for my friend that is moving here did make it on the plane, so we needed to eat and head there before J had to go to work, with time to stop back here so he can still help drop off the boxes. Long story short, we did it. Got some awesome fish from Nico's just as they were closing, and got the boxes back to our apartment with plenty of time to cuddle and say a long goodbye. I love happy endings!

~

The theme for the day is GRACE. I didn't not receive or show much grace in the morning regarding work inventory, for which I should probably apologize later to the co-workers I vented to, lol. Grace did abound throughout the rest of the day: as my friend and I reunited (very important to me), as my boss took time from her and her hubby's time to ease my mind, as my honey used his pre-work time to help me do a favor for my friend (very excited she's moving here), as the cooks at Nico's stayed open 10 minutes longer to fry our fish, and as God helps me realize daily that I am married to the perfect man for me. ♥

[Pic: Diamond Head 1/30/10 from Ali'i Kai Catamaran]

**Happy New Year**

It's 2010! And obviously, the end of 2009 smacked me in the back of my head because I haven't made an entry since 11/16/09...yikes. So much has happened, but a here's a bullet-point update for now:

End of November

-Surfing small waves on south shores, prepared with snorkel gear in between sets.

-Watching big waves on North Shore (beaches closed at Waimea).

-Had Thanksgiving dinner with my boss and her family. I was so thankful she invited us and that J didn't end up having to work.

Pre-Christmas December:

-Billabong Girls' Surf Camp, Maui...that's a loaded one that I'll save for another time for a full explanation. Long story short, had a good time staying at The Ritz, meeting awesome women who surf, made some friends, surfed the most beautiful spot so far Honolua Bay.

-Returned from my trip to a house full of guests: 2 friends, 1 sister-in-law.

-Multiple santa hat surf sessions. :)

Christmas!

-Weird to be away from family during this holiday; I'm not a fan. But we had a good Christmas and God reminded me of just how important I am to Him through the little things.

-Spent Christmas Eve with J's family and Christmas day just the two of us after opening presents via webcam with my parents.

-A santa surf session until the sun went down, of course.

New apartment :(

-We just moved right before the end of December, because we were hoping to save a little and get a place that let's us bring our 5 surfboards inside. Too bad we got a place that turns out to have quite a bit of roaches. Currently we are trying to get out of our lease (after 3 days).

New Year's Eve

-J worked, so I went to Nanang's on my own until my friend came by to hang. (Funny story is that we graduated same high school same year, and ran into each other here about a month ago - small world.) Kalihi is bananas on New Years and it was awesome!

TODAY

-Went to church and I needed it! I'm feeling very discouraged because of our living situation. I woke up very negative. The youth pastor preached since our regular pastor was out sick and it was a timely message for both J and I - God just knows! :) Then had a good time with the youth, very refreshing as usual. I ask anyone who got to the end of this entry to join me in praying for another place to live and that our landlord will give us minimal hassle to get out of the lease we just signed. There is already a potential location that would be extremely ideal, but we're waiting to hear back if it's even available for rent.

Please, oh please, I hope, I hope...

It's been funky

I have been in a sort of funk for the past week or so. I realized my fatigue was because I was about to get sick. Sick I was for 2-3 days. Of course, this was perfect timing for my new job. I've worked two shifts now, and things are going well. I like the atmosphere and I've worked with only 2 other co-workers so far (not counting my boss, and the girl who just had her last day). I'm anxious to finish all my training and get into a groove at work - y'know, when it flows and you don't have to think so hard about your every move.

I also can't wait until those paychecks start coming in...mm-hm...

I'm not sick anymore, but my congestion is either a lingering part of my illness or I'm going through some allergies or a/c is murdering my sinuses. We don't have a/c in our apartment, but it's almost everywhere else...bah.

I'm still feeling a little out of sorts emotionally/mentally but felt more at ease after getting outside and spending some quality time with my hubby at the beach and eating dinner tonight. We wanted Indian, but Maharani Indian Restaurant (awesome reviews) was packed and out of naan. We know to go there a little earlier and probably not on a Friday night. So we circled back to a Thai restaurant, Chiang-Mai, since I still haven't got my fix for that yet either. Sadly, the curry portions was sad, and overall the palette experience is not one we plan on repeating.

Our vacation club gives a certain number of points per year and 1/2 but ours are set to expire 8/31/09 - AH! We're trying to use them up asap, and are even willing to stay somewhere on the same island, just to not let them go to waste. Maui is our goal but we'll see. We're even considering selling them, it's just that it's very last minute for anyone who would be interested in buying of course. Guess we should've jumped on this sooner. Oops.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday and I wish I had been there. She did get my gifts I sent her on time though, which is always good because you never know about that usps. I wish I could use my time share points for a plane ticket home! Especially since my cat, Turtle, is now living at my mom's and after day-2 her cat is still a little aggressive towards mine. We'll need to have more patience with the lil animals, but I don't want it to escalate to an actual cat fight. So far, nothing dramatic, but my poor cat is definitely stressed out there so far. My poor baby!!

*Good night TV Land*

Worn out from a fun day

After observing a little bit this morning, and talking with the owner a lot, I am really excited to start working at this coffee shop. My new boss and I see eye-to-eye in many aspects of life and coffee. Very important and very FuN.

Met up with Hubby after and we went surfing. 1 rental board, 1 of his. It was a little windy for me, which made it colder and choppy (yes, I do get cold even outside here in Hawai'i). Good times, talked with a koo local surfer lady out there, maybe we'll see her again next time...

We went and ate lunch and Uncle's, then I felt the fatigue in my amateur arms start to set in. Took a nap while the boys got ready, then took those youngin's (9, 10, 18) to the beach with boogie boards and goggles. I watched them jump off the wall while I tried to save my skin from burning. Going to the beach once a day can be hard on my light skin, but twice made me a little worried. I'm ok though, no red today.

While they went to the pool, I made some chicken nuggets and brought 'em down. Then the boys & my boo played ping-pong while I began this blog upstairs.

I'm exhausted! But it was a great day. I love hanging with my boo and with the youngin's. I still have the motion of the ocean in my system so I'm actually kinda dizzy but nothing some chamomile can't calm I hope. I have orientation in the 9:00am, but since the 18-yr old youngin' will be staying the night, hopefully we'll still have time to wind down with a movie over here at our apartment...oh, and a snack too of course!

*Special note: It's my dear friends birthday back in Seattle, and I so wish I could be there to celebrate her life :) Happy Birthday J! Love you!*

...also, here's a pic of Turtle, sent to me today:

wow i miss this cat *sighhhhh