Home stretch?

Just playing the waiting game with our lil lady now. Saw my doc today and there still hasn't been much of any progression for a couple weeks now. Boo. I think I'm ready now - as for hubby, he'll take another week lol. A few more days will be good so big brother can get over his cold, I guess.

Can't help but think that tomorrow is 10-days til due date, and that's when our son was born. So tonight I'll be extra on guard for signs of labor I'm sure haha. I'm having some pretty painful cramps now actually...hmmmmmm. 

I guess I'm feeling more ready cuz I'm feeling more peace about her arrival. Labor is still scary but once we bring her home I can picture it all working out a little more than I had been dreading most this time. I know it won't be easy but I think we should definitely be excited for this new child we'll have, especially since our first is such a huge joy in our lives.

Tick tock... Tick tock.

Prego blues

Feeling super whack. Pretty much just low. Week 35 has been the longest yet I think. I'm just getting more and more tired, which leaves me less than productive, which makes me stressed, which makes me more stressed cuz there's nothing I can really do about it. Sometimes coffee helps, sometimes not. I don't wanna drink a lot anyway. 

I wanna listen to my body and simply rest, but I have things I'd like to get done, and I have a 2-year old. He's a good boy but he has more energy than I can entertain these days. I feel bad I can't take him out like I used to, or even play as much or the way we used to. It's frustrating for him too, but probably more for me. 

I would really love a couple days to zone out, guilt free. Sleep whenever I feel the need, no cleaning or cooking, etc. I don't see that happening but it sounds nice. Even if life allowed it, I probably couldn't keep from feeling guilty about doing nothing. Boo.

36 weeks tomorrow. As lame as I feel I do pray she stays in at least another week, and comes out when she'll be most healthy.

Still pregnant! And it's ok

Well we made it to full term, thank goodness. And it's 2011! Now I've been obsessing over final preparations, as well as every little thing I feel in my body (wondering if labor is starting, lol). Last night I realized that I need to refocus. I need to realize that it will happen when it's going to happen and just cuz I had a "feeling" he was gonna come early doesn't mean it's true. I mean even if he comes in 2 weeks that's still days before my due date and would be called "early." Anyways, I want to refocus on my husband and our time together while we still have it uninterrupted. I love my quality time with him and I will definitely miss what we have. That doesn't overshadow my excitement of growing our family and being a mommy, but it's all just a part of my full bag of emotions I feel these days.

I wanted my first post of the year to be a letter to my baby boy, but I've put it off too long and needed to update. I'm doing well, just trying to stay busy and somewhat active. We went to the zoo today and I got the longest walk in a long time. I've been walking at least every other day but not for miles - I'm too lazy for that, haha. Tried to swim occasionally but it's been colder here (i.e. in the low-70's to mid-60's). Had slowed my weight gain unintentionally but I seem to have caught right up. Still my doc wants me to go in for an ultrasound to make sure he's growing at a healthy rate still. That appointment is tomorrow (well, today, at 10am).

Not much is new, just growing a bit still and getting more aches and stronger Braxton Hicks contractions. Looks like we'll be having a baby shower gathering this coming Saturday. That should be fun, and even better if we can get all the people we know to be there. We don't need anything right now but I'll be thankful for a few more gift cards for later and just to celebrate our baby on the way with our Hawai'i ohana.

Pregnant eyes

The things I see from pregnant eyes. The world is different these days - maybe I should say, the way the world interacts with me and the way I interpret the world is different I guess. People around us always have expectations of what we should or shouldn't do, look like, act like, feel like, or want, but it's a new set of "things" since I'm pregnant.

People expect I should be bigger. I must be smaller than the average 5-month pregnant lady (so I hear...every day). But really, I'm smaller than the average lady too! I don't take it personal but it's just one of those things you hear every time you talk to someone and it gets old sometimes. I'm only having one baby, and he's 75% Filipino; he probably won't be that big by the time he comes out either. Cute though, that's for sure.

Another thing I'm more conscious of is my wedding ring. I always want to wear it and don't like going out anytime without it, but with this baby bump I feel like I would be judged more harshly appear like I'm an unmarried pregnant girl (especially since I look so young). It makes me think of my friends or family that have babies outside of marriage and I can understand how they felt more so with all those eyes on them. I know not everyone cares, but it's just something that pops into my head these days.

I'm also body-conscious for the first time really in my life. I'm blessed to never have weight issues and even when I had a little extra I liked it and was (over)confident. I'm feeling better now that it's pretty obvious I'm pregnant and not sporting a full-on beer/nacho/pot belly. But deep down that goes back to me caring what people are thinking when they look at me. What if I do have a pot belly? What if I do drink a lot of beer? I dunno... The other thing is feeling good in my clothes. I have enough outfits for now that I can wear and feel good in. I love my clothes and I miss my jeans, but I'm proud to show off my growing baby boy. I just wanna be comfortable while doing it. Luckily I do have an amazing husband supporting me and encouraging me every day. He's seriously the best; more than I ever imagined. Thank you God!

Something more from my perspective is that I notice pregnant women every day. It's kinda like when you start driving a certain car, you notice how many of them are already on the road, haha. I like it though. It's like a sisterhood, like you're not alone and you can instantly relate to that woman in some way no matter how far along she is. It's nice when there's a couple of us at the beach too, cuz I think we can give each other the confidence to be out there, bellies and all.

>>My very first morning sickness...wow

Took my pregnancy test on Friday afternoon. Woke up Saturday feeling like I may have eaten something wrong and headed to the bathroom. As I waited, I started to worry that I was actually feeling menstrual cramps. I was praying no. Then I started to get a little light headed, and what...nauseous?? Uh-oh. I got off the toilet and leaned over the tub, gagging for a bit, wishing I hadn't eaten that late-night ramen snack. After my stomach cramps resided a bit, and I was feeling super hot, I knew I needed to lie down but didn't want go far so the floor became my friend. It was cold stone and close to a vomit receptacle if needed. I stayed there as I broke out into a cold sweat, wondering when it would be over - cuz it has to end sometime, right? Wondering if I was going to be one of those ladies who feels like this all the time? Please, Lord, no.

It passed after what seemed like an hour, but was probably only 15 minutes or so. I immediately looked up remedies for morning sickness because OMG I have to do what I can to avoid feeling like that again. Aside from some frequent lightheadedness, I'm doing ok the last couple days. *whew*

>>To remain unpublished until...

My period was supposed to start around Fri May 21st...but never did. I have been fairly regular, with a average cycle length of 34 days. I noticed my boobs feeling tender, around Tue, but tried to brush it off (although my mind has not stopped thinking about the possibility of being pregnant since my first day being late!).

Jason went to the store and bought a box with 2 tests inside. He was sleeping even after my nap since he works the night but I took a pregnancy test before he got up because I couldn't wait any longer. It was POSITIVE. I half expected it to be negative, even if I really was pregnant since that's what happened to my mom. Buuuuut nope. :) I put it back in the box, and once he was up I made him bring it to me when I was in the bathroom as if I was going to take it and he pulled out the positive stick. His reaction was great; no disappointment to be seen. We prayed together and are excited. I've made an appointment with my doctor for next Thursday morning, June 3rd.

[pic: pee stick...yep, I peed on that]

An ironic thing is that I started a food journal about 2 weeks ago, since we've been getting sick so much, I wanted to see if my eating habits may have anything to do with it. Turns out there were improvements I could make, and I made them right away (now just to maintain them). The great thing is that I know what I've been eating and not eating for about half of my pregnancy. According to my calculations (4/27: the first time we "tried" since my last period) I am 4 weeks. According to the traditional method (4/18: the first day of my last period) I am almost 6 weeks. Big difference. We'll see who's right when the baby is born, but I'm sure calculations will be based off the traditional methods. ;)