Let's catch up a little

Honestly, I've been lazy to blog. Fatigue has returned in the last couple weeks (thank you, third trimester). Before that my husband was sick one week, I got sick the next week, then we had our first disturbing visit to our doctor where we were told my cervix was slightly dilated. This visit happened in the same week the world lost Andy Irons, and I learned my bestie would be leaving the island and my husband would be working Christmas. The good news is I went back a week later for a check-up with my doc and there was little to no progression, which means I have escaped being sentenced to bed rest at this point. We did cut my working down to one day a week, maybe occasionally two, but only opening shifts (shortest) and should be sitting/resting during my shift as much as possible. What a relief and answered prayer that our baby boy isn't trying to come out this early.

What's new? I bought my first maternity jeans that I LOVE and a belly band to hopefully combat back pain and even front pains. I'm experiencing a lot of round ligament pain as I (we) grow; I feel it most when I'm more active. I am learning to take it easier but it really is hard sometimes. I may be lazy at times but I am also a brat and I want to do things when I want to do them. But more and more I learn that my body is not my own for now. Every day is an adjustment not just to how and when I do things, but to my wardrobe as well. I got a new swimsuit that covers what it should and a sarong that covers more when I'm walking down the street. I'm loving the umbrella my honey got me for lounging on the beach while he surfs. Makes me sad that I can't go out with him, but at least I can watch and dream of when I'll get back out there.

We started a class at Queen's for the next 6-weeks, called Expectant Parent Class. Already got us registered and they gave us a tour of the entire maternity floor. It made me so excited to be there and see where the event will happen. That excitement may be contributing my trouble sleeping lately, but at least it's a happy feeling more than worry. The next classes will be about breastfeeding, labor process, postpartum, etc. Luckily, hubby will be there for all of them too so we can learn together. :) He's the best.

Goal: Learn to ask hubby for help more often so I don't feel overwhelmed.

Praise: I will have my boo on Christmas! He still works Christmas Eve but at least I get one of those nights with him. Thank you Jesus!

Pic: Me, today (29-weeks)

Pregnant eyes

The things I see from pregnant eyes. The world is different these days - maybe I should say, the way the world interacts with me and the way I interpret the world is different I guess. People around us always have expectations of what we should or shouldn't do, look like, act like, feel like, or want, but it's a new set of "things" since I'm pregnant.

People expect I should be bigger. I must be smaller than the average 5-month pregnant lady (so I hear...every day). But really, I'm smaller than the average lady too! I don't take it personal but it's just one of those things you hear every time you talk to someone and it gets old sometimes. I'm only having one baby, and he's 75% Filipino; he probably won't be that big by the time he comes out either. Cute though, that's for sure.

Another thing I'm more conscious of is my wedding ring. I always want to wear it and don't like going out anytime without it, but with this baby bump I feel like I would be judged more harshly appear like I'm an unmarried pregnant girl (especially since I look so young). It makes me think of my friends or family that have babies outside of marriage and I can understand how they felt more so with all those eyes on them. I know not everyone cares, but it's just something that pops into my head these days.

I'm also body-conscious for the first time really in my life. I'm blessed to never have weight issues and even when I had a little extra I liked it and was (over)confident. I'm feeling better now that it's pretty obvious I'm pregnant and not sporting a full-on beer/nacho/pot belly. But deep down that goes back to me caring what people are thinking when they look at me. What if I do have a pot belly? What if I do drink a lot of beer? I dunno... The other thing is feeling good in my clothes. I have enough outfits for now that I can wear and feel good in. I love my clothes and I miss my jeans, but I'm proud to show off my growing baby boy. I just wanna be comfortable while doing it. Luckily I do have an amazing husband supporting me and encouraging me every day. He's seriously the best; more than I ever imagined. Thank you God!

Something more from my perspective is that I notice pregnant women every day. It's kinda like when you start driving a certain car, you notice how many of them are already on the road, haha. I like it though. It's like a sisterhood, like you're not alone and you can instantly relate to that woman in some way no matter how far along she is. It's nice when there's a couple of us at the beach too, cuz I think we can give each other the confidence to be out there, bellies and all.

>>How I'm feeling at 12-weeks

Today brings us to 12-weeks in to our pregnancy. I am feeling more changes than I can see, but a part of me wishes it was visible to people outside of me.

I can feel my body changing as the fetus develops - currently it's the size of a lime! Growing so fast, which explains my appetite. I don't mind eating a lot but I can't seem to eat much at once, and I usually don't want to eat something again that I've recently eaten. I know, picky, right? Hey, my body speaks and I just do what makes it feel best. I wish it were that easy when it comes to getting dressed and staying comfortable while lying down. I currently don't have any jeans I can wear if I plan on eating. Not a big problem, since I have dresses and skirts, and other kinds of pants, but I'm technically not really showing so it's deceiving to myself. I'm a little poochy but nothing that would cause a stranger to ask themselves "Is she pregnant?"...more like, "She must like beer and chips." The small bloat I have is exaggerated to only me because of how I feel. I do feel like a weightiness in my pelvic area and like there's so much going on inside (cuz there is!).

As far as sleeping, I have to move slower when I turn over or I get a strong pain in my sides/waist. It was shocking the first few times, but apparently common, even before you have the extra weight in front. Even when I'm lying on my side I can feel some pull. I've started propping my tummy up with a folded wash cloth for now. I'm sure I'll be searching out a nice body pillow in a month or two. Once I get to sleep these things don't seem to bug me much, but getting to sleep at night can be an issue too. For some reason I'm feeling energized at night again. I'll be sleepy but my mind races and wants to talk. Funny...for a little bit.

All this said, I should be clear that I'm so happy to be pregnant. I'm excited to show off my baby bump once I get one. I'm fascinated by the changes going on with my body, even if I'm not quite adjusted yet. God created us so strong and amazing to carry life inside of us. I'm in awe and honored to be having a baby and to be a mama. This is what I've always wanted! :)

~

Tomorrow is ultrasound #2. It's a screening for down syndrome and any other anomalies. Kinda nervous but confident since we are young, healthy and our family history is relatively clean. I am mostly excited hoping I get a new picture of my baby-to-be! That is the fun part.