6-months: letter to baby bear

Dear baby boy;

In the morning you will be 6-months old. I am one proud mama. I love you so much - before you were even conceived. I know I'm not a perfect mom but I know God made me to be yours. I thank Him every day for that. You are such a blessing to me and your daddy, and we are so excited to watch you grow and develop. It's almost happening too fast sometimes.

Thank you for your contagious laughter and smile that has changed my life. You are my most precious gift and most rewarding challenge. Only six months have passed...wow! Can't wait for our family adventures over the next six more (and more and more and more).

Love,
Yo mama

P.S. Hope you like the veggies I'm gonna make today.

Feeling truly blessed to have a healthy child. He's happy and active, and really overall an easy baby. Makes me wonder how our next one would be; can't have two easy ones in a row! We'll see whenever that time comes. For now I'm enjoying and just in awe of this little boy that I get to care for. So thankful I can still breastfeed exclusively. We're starting to introduce solids but he's growing steadily on what he gets from me so far. :)

Being a mom is what I've waited for. It's a challenge but I LOVE IT. At times I still struggle with my own selfishness and my temper flares but God is molding me into a better mom and woman everyday. I have to remember that time flies and I will miss these moments once their gone, so i should savour them now. They will go just as fast whether I do or not.

Yesterday was our anniversary: 4 years. They have flown by, dunno where time went but glad to have spent it with him. This new chapter in our lives (starting family) is entered with trust and excitement and joy. He's my best friend and I can't imagine anyone else more perfect for me.

Thank goodness we have a strong relationship cuz we have been stressing about the bank, financing, and just buying this condo. I know need so much faith. I need to pray and listen and wait on Him. He never fails and I know this but I always try to convince myself otherwise. Why??

Alive and well

Nope, I didn't die in childbirth. I'm alive and well. I haven't posted here but I've been journaling in my cell phone, which I'll copy-paste here asap. I'm just barely gaining a balance in this new life as a mom to where I can make or find time to do things aside from being a mom and wife. Baby steps.

How can I sum up the last 6-months? I guess I would say it's been an exhausting dream come true. I LOVE being mama. My hubby and I are closer in many ways since we have worked as a team raising and caring for our son. (We're not as close in other ways buuuuut that's normal for now I guess, Lol.) This new chapter in our lives hasn't been easy but it has made me feel that much more complete. I've known I wanted to be a mama and to devote my time and energy to the job that it is.

On top of our regular stuff we're also in the process of closing on a condo nearby. What a stressful process, but it will also be worth it if we can get a place of our own. That will be another dream fulfilled.



God has been so good to me, and I am continuously in awe of His provision and plans for us. More later...the boy is waking up. :)

Still pregnant! And it's ok

Well we made it to full term, thank goodness. And it's 2011! Now I've been obsessing over final preparations, as well as every little thing I feel in my body (wondering if labor is starting, lol). Last night I realized that I need to refocus. I need to realize that it will happen when it's going to happen and just cuz I had a "feeling" he was gonna come early doesn't mean it's true. I mean even if he comes in 2 weeks that's still days before my due date and would be called "early." Anyways, I want to refocus on my husband and our time together while we still have it uninterrupted. I love my quality time with him and I will definitely miss what we have. That doesn't overshadow my excitement of growing our family and being a mommy, but it's all just a part of my full bag of emotions I feel these days.

I wanted my first post of the year to be a letter to my baby boy, but I've put it off too long and needed to update. I'm doing well, just trying to stay busy and somewhat active. We went to the zoo today and I got the longest walk in a long time. I've been walking at least every other day but not for miles - I'm too lazy for that, haha. Tried to swim occasionally but it's been colder here (i.e. in the low-70's to mid-60's). Had slowed my weight gain unintentionally but I seem to have caught right up. Still my doc wants me to go in for an ultrasound to make sure he's growing at a healthy rate still. That appointment is tomorrow (well, today, at 10am).

Not much is new, just growing a bit still and getting more aches and stronger Braxton Hicks contractions. Looks like we'll be having a baby shower gathering this coming Saturday. That should be fun, and even better if we can get all the people we know to be there. We don't need anything right now but I'll be thankful for a few more gift cards for later and just to celebrate our baby on the way with our Hawai'i ohana.

Truly a Mele Kalikimaka

All I needed/wanted this year was to know we'll have everything baby needs and of course quality time with my boo. I got it! He was put on call Christmas Eve and off on Christmas so we have had a lot of good time together this holiday - love it! And we got a couple checks in the mail, with some of the money specifically for our baby boy so he's even more set than before, and it feels good. We haven't had to spend out of pocket at all yet for him, besides a those onesies we bought and some medical expenses. How blessed are we?? God is amazing and I'm overwhelmed and in awe of His provision every time.

We ate at my boss' beautiful house with her awesome family for Christmas Eve, then stopped by Honolulu Hale to see the lights. We went late but there were still so many people there, pretty cool. One thing I like around here is how the stores don't all stay open until midnight the night before Christmas; they actually close around 6pm. I assume it's a family oriented mindset, and I like that. We opened the gifts under our little tree around 1am. So fun, even just the two of us (our last year with just us two!). Then this afternoon we went to his uncle's place to visit the fam and eat...and eat! Then just hung out at the beach for a while.

It was a light gift year overall, and that is just how I wanted it. I don't need anything really and I didn't wanna stress over shopping this year. I got baby on the brains and that's enough weighing over me (well and in front of me, hehe). Christmas away from most of our family and friends doesn't feel the same, but I'm truly content to be with my hubby. Island Christmas is so different feeling anyway since it's hot in "winter." Not complaining cuz I sure don't miss snow. It's pretty, until you need to go somewhere. I could live without it though. How many other places would I have gotten to watch the sunset on the beach in my bikini on Christmas evening?



♥ Mele Kalikimaka ♥

I like today

Even though late ultrasounds are usually due to there being a possible issue, I'm so happy I got to see my lil baby boy today. We got a new disc of pics and took home some new pics for his ultrasound album. I am doing much better than last week and feeling a little more confident that he'll keep cooking until January, like he's supposed to. Doc says he looks good, and I'm proud to say he's 4.5 pounds. He is in the 51st percentile for this gestation, so he's average weight. We had been thinking maybe he's smaller than average since I seem to be showing small (as I still hear all the time).

Then we went to the mall and I got "What to Expect the First Year." Tried to find some books on labor coping techniques but we'll actually probably go find a video soon. We found some fun onesies for baby. One says "I want to surf like my daddy" and the other says "I ♥ boobies" - you can guess which one my hubby found most amusing. I also got a nursing bra that is so comfy, and a new shirt that actually has room for my belly. The bra needed to have room for growth since I haven't got my milk in yet and I never ever imagined buying a D-cup bra...so weird for me! I hope I don't completely shrivel and can still fill a A-cup after breastfeeding. Never know...

There's a lot of things I'm starting to wonder about my body post-pregnancy. It has changed so much and if all goes according to plan, this won't be my last pregnancy, so more changes await. I look at my pre-pregnancy pictures and I can bet that I'll never look like that again. Not that it's not worth it; I guess it's just another sacrifice you make to be a mama. As long as hubby still thinks I'm sexy it's aaallllll gooooooood.

What a week

Time has flown since I shared the details of my horrible morning last Tuesday. And Tuesday morning wasn't the end...

I started having abdominal pain in the afternoon that I tried to wait out and let it pass, but it just wouldn't. It hurt to move and I was even tender to the touch sometimes. It was kinda scary after a couple hours so I called my doctor. I was advised to drink lots of water and rest; if the pain doesn't stop in 30-minutes, go to Kapiolani L&D (which is where premies need to be delivered). I ended up going to Kapiolani via the emergency department. Luckily my hubby was off work so he was able to drive me and help keep me calm. Of course my mind was racing, but he reminded me to not assume the worst.

By the time I actually got to see a nurse, my pain had gone down a lot. Long story short, we were there for about 3-hours. I was put on monitoring, gave a urine sample, got an ultrasound, and a couple cervix checks. They calmly told me I was having contractions - since they were calm I assumed I should be too, but it was weird to hear. Since the contractions didn't seem to be changing my cervix, they sent me home with an antibiotic prescription to clear up anything that could be causing complications. I can't remember the last time I took an antibiotic, but I didn't hesitate when it comes to making sure I'm doing everything I can and am supposed to do to benefit the baby.

One thing that made the visit positive was that we got to see him on the ultrasound. Turns out he's already head down. When I thought he was kicking my hip bone, he is actually punching it, while my ribs are getting the actual kicks. Fun to know (still not so fun to feel sometimes, lol). The doc actually did two ultrasounds - the first was to gather info on him, the second was to demonstrate to a new doc how to identify measuring points on a fetus. She said he has great markers (or something like that). Our baby has already been a model example!

Okay, this is turning out longer than I planned, but there's more...

I had to see my doc within a few days to follow-up on all this, rather than waiting for my appointment I had scheduled for the next week. I was glad to see her but it really turns out that I may just be what she called, "a cramper." That's not to say I shouldn't continue to take it easy, but it's good to know what I'm prone to and how to possibly manage it. So it'll be a couple about 2 more months of lots of rest and LOTS of water. Been drinking at least 2-liters a day now. She gave me another prescription for emergency use if I start having regular contractions in an hour in the next few weeks. Another one of those things that I'm glad I have it but the fact that I might need it is kinda scary. Praying that bottle never gets opened!

And finally - on a much lighter note - I awoke from a nap this afternoon with a wet spot on the right side of my tank top. Huh??? Lol. Actually my hubby noticed it first and we realized it was leakage. My tank was dark so I don't know what color it was. I washed it as soon as I realized the spot wasn't going away after a couple hours, but there's still a slight mark right on the boob. Good thing I usually wear it under something. Now I'm paranoid about my shirts and bras. I have some disposable pads but I don't wanna use them up before the baby comes. I'm gonna go get some washable ones which I think are best used for smaller leaks anyways.

To sum it all up...Being pregnant is a trip.